Douchebag Superman

“Superman don't need no seat belt.” ― Muhammad Ali

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

...I keep forgetting things today.

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

I PUT DIAMONDS ON EVERYTHING I EAT...

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

@PretentiousBats

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

Sometimes I put on a trench coat and intentionally make escorts uneasy.

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

We were weren't we...#MohammedAli #RIPChamp

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

Job security Mr City Planner...

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

Sometimes. after saving someone I'm so excited I just jack off in their bathroom and leave.

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

If I fly fast enough birds just explode when I hit them.

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

Bagged me a threesome...

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

It makes people gay. Then instead of fight me, they just buy designer furniture and adopt Asian children.

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

Sometimes I just fly around and make potholes with my laser vision.

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

Just a good day for some property damage

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

Why you go for the dick Skeletor?

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

This now hangs over my solid gold toilet at the fortress...#swag

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

Because that is the only way I can get an erection anymore....

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

#CivilWar #Avengers #CaptainAmericaCivilWar #theyallbitches

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

Because I'm in burrito town #cincodemayo

[Douchebag Superman @DbagSuperman]

#maythefourthbewithyou