dead soon

20 | male | uk | trans | self harm | depression | suicidal thoughts | tw

[dead soon @dead__soon]

so fucking suicidal

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the two aren't necessarily connected, but it's not ideal timing

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in the same week as admitting to my psychologist that i'd started self harming again, gets discharged from service. fab.

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Stuck at a cross roads

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i really want to self harm on my arms but I can't do it until Thursday, I can't have the surgeon see me with new cuts because he'd flip

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I'm so fucking fed up of life and I just want to kill myself

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@CrxzyBitxh Usually it seems to stop loading at a certain point, but you can still do it on desktop

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Well, I do want to talk about it, but I don't know what response I want

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I have an appointment with psychology on Monday and I'm already bricking it, things are so bad right now and I just dont want to talk about it

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@fantanobubbles feel this in my soul

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Think I'm spending a third night in :(

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Just keep disassociating and feel like I've lost hours when it's been 5 minutes

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Didn't need to buzz in the end, the nurse came in thank fuck

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My drip won't stop fucking beeping. I've been sick even with anti-sickness. The rains battering outside. I can't fucking pee. Great time.

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I don't want to buzz and be a pain but I'm so fucking sick of this beeping for the last hour

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Gonna pee, and try again, and then probably go to A&E because I know its not enough to kill me, sigh.

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Fucked it but can't take more because body is just rejecting them

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Got it planned

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One minute I'm fine and the next I'm not. Mum worries about me. Fucking up friendships. Nothing is worth it.

[dead soon @dead__soon]

I just want to be gone, I'm hurting everyone around me.