D. R. Roberts

Writer. Chef. Dad. Tired.

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

I think being a good writer is not about writing something good, it's about understanding why you've written something at all.

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

@OldGassy1984 Help, there’s aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

Irony:

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

Asked my 6 year old son what Mummy and Daddy were going to have for their first drink of the morning. His first guess was beer. Second: Wine.

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

It’s hard to sell a new idea. Much easier to rebrand an old one.

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

I try not to work hard but sometimes it’s inevitable.

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

Children learn better from how you act than what you tell them.

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

If you need a rhyme to remember who’s being punished in Hades:

Here comes Sisyphus
Here comes Sisyphus
Rolling a big fat rock
He pushed it up
It rolls back down
Hear him shout “Oh Cock!”

(To the tune of Here Comes Santa Clause or Sandy Claws if you’re from Halloween Town )

[Booniss Everdrunk @bookiesnacksize]

getting older really is reacting to the news of every celebrity death with "but that's no age at all"

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

@bookiesnacksize I will 😁

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

If you said the man looks like he is fighting an umbrella you are wrong.

If you said it is wrong because there is a man actually at work then you are correct.

There are no men at work. Just a closed section of road.

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

What is wrong with this sign?

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

Is the BBC Rick-rolling everyone?

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

@overanalysefilm Really enjoyed the Dark Knight breakdown. Never noticed the odd structure before. Wonder if it’s because Batman and Bruce Wayne are effectively separate protagonists? Bruce’s want to be with Rachel clashing with Batman’s need for fight for justice.

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

Those terrorists sure had soft jumpers. Thanks ⁦@LASTEXITshirts⁩

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

Dear #WhiskySanta, please may you put @Ncnean Organic Whisky from @MasterofMalt under my tree? I've been really good this year! https://t.co/ZPw6r6IY7A

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

Just watched Boiling Point with Stephen Graham. Shocking. I’m pretty sure he never got the ordering done. 😕

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

@bookiesnacksize

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

Stayed at a hotel last night. The staff were total muppets. Worse still, I went to leave and they made a huge fuss begging me not to check out. I mean literally the entire staff off the hotel, blocking the doors and singing at me to stay. Do not recommend #furchesterhotel

[D. R. Roberts @dead_jester]

@writer_s_downes Fear of specifically this….

[Buttercups Sanctuary For Goats @ButtercupsGoats]

Loki 😊