deadcartie

20
Built a business before 20.
The next one will be bigger.
Bootstrapping something ambitious.

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

I honestly don't even know how to write this.

I've fucked up badly. I've lost around $8,000 gambling recently around $2,000 in credit card debt and $6,000 that I owe my mom. Overall, I'm around $24,000 in debt.

The money my mom gave me wasn't meant for gambling. She gave it to me for things like a laptop and my college fees. I took that money and gambled it away.

I've also been lying to her about it. I've kept telling her that I'll pay her back and that I'm waiting for a sale to buy laptop, when the truth is that I lost it. I know I've broken her trust and I feel horrible about it.

My parents didn't know the full extent of what was happening. I'm 20, still in college, and right now I have basically nothing left around $60 in my bank account.

I'm terrified of my family finding out. My dad can become extremely angry, and I'm genuinely scared about what could happen when he finds out what I've done.

I've reached a really dark place mentally. I've been having thoughts of killing myself because I can't see a way out of this right now.

I have proof of my losses and everything I've said. I'll privately show it to anyone who wants to verify my story.

I'm not asking anyone to give me money so I can gamble again. I'm done with gambling. I just want to get out of this hole, repay what I owe, and keep my education from falling apart.

I know I caused this. I know I lied. I'm not trying to make myself look innocent. I just genuinely don't know how to fix what I've done anymore.

If anyone can help, even a small amount, I'd be incredibly grateful. If you can't donate, please share this. Maybe it reaches someone who can.

I don't expect anyone to feel sorry for me. I just need a way out please help if you can.

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

Each day i come here at bridge and think about ending it all but i back down like a coward I wish it wasn't so hard and I could disappear somehow

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

I'll fail this semester, doesn't even matter I'll kill myself before

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

idk how to explain what's going on in my head anymore. some days i just sit there thinking about everything i've fucked up and how different my life could've been. i'm so tired of feeling like this, and honestly the suicidal thoughts have been getting harder to deal with. i don't even know who to talk to anymore.

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

my professors sent me to a psychologist today because i started crying during my exam because i couldn't write single answer, she kept asking me what was wrong but i genuinely didn't know where to start, all i could think about was the debt, the money i've lost and how badly i've fucked everything up, i haven't even told anyone the full truth yet. i'm barely sleeping, can't focus on anything, idk how i'm supposed to fix my life when i can barely get through a normal day anymore

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

@trenchbet 8k would help me get a chance in life I've lost everything on stake and I'm just 20, been sucidal for weeks and it's not getting any better

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

@whoareyouu99 Not everyone is lucky as you

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

@Casinoguruoffic Mann can you check my pinned post I'd appreciate any help mann please 🙏

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

Watching someone win big after chasing losses while I'm sitting here realizing I lost everything doing the same thing. I keep wishing I could undo it all, but I'm left with debt, guilt, and a mind that won't give me a break. I don't know how to rebuild my life from here. I'm so fucking tired of feeling like this

[Jackson Felt @jacksonfelt]

ALWAYS CHASE IT

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

I keep staring at these losses, wondering how the fuck I let my life get to this point. Over 24k gone, family savings lost, debt piling up, and I'm barely holding myself together mentally.

I'm 20 and I genuinely don't know how I'm supposed to fix all of this. The guilt follows me every day, I can't focus on college, and even when I try to study, my mind keeps going back to what I've done.

I just want one day where I can breathe without feeling like my whole future is ruined. I don't even recognize myself anymore

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

It's over for me I'm ending myself before my parents come home

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

I will be getting gun from someone soon

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

I can't do this anymore my dad called me and asked why he got an email with 3k cc bill pending when he doesn't have.

I told him it would've been a spam email.

I want to end it all now i don't think I'll be ever able to tell them how I've ruined our life

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

I've never felt this lost in my life, nothing makes sense anymore. I wake up with the same guilt and go to sleep with the same thoughts. I'm so tired of living like this, I genuinely don't know how much longer I can keep fighting my own mind

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

@ShaneStoffer Bro pls check my pinned post i really need help I'd appreciate any help

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

Sucide feels like an only option now.

Nothing seems to be working, I'm getting nowhere and each day it keeps getting worse, my parents will be home in 3 days and i don't know how will I face em again.

I'm not able to focus on my studies anymore and i fear I might even fail. There's nothing left for me now I'm losing everything which I worked for despite trying my best.

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

@gamblepapi 25k would've cleared my debt and gave me chance at life again

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

@whoareyouu99 All I know is gambling isn't for everyone, I've ruined my life at 20 started with small amounts and then losses kept increasing and the chase ended me with losing my family savings and 24k debt

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

@reggularMike @whoareyouu99 If you've time can you pls go through my pinned post 🙏 I'd genuinely appreciate any help

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

@whoareyouu99 @DexGemsReal I'm 20 and i wasn't lucky like you, I've lost everything on stake, im trying to cover debt and have a chance in life again, I wish I could explain it to you but exhausted

[deadcartie @deadcartie]

Man, i'm genuinely fucked right now, I've lost my family's savings, i'm drowning in debt, and my mental health is at its worst. I'm trying to find work and rebuild my income, but the immediate debt is crushing me and I don't know how to get through it. I'm honestly embarrassed to keep asking you, but if you could help me financially, even as a loan, it would give me some time to get back on my feet. I'd repay you gradually once I'm earning again. I wouldn't take your help for granted, bro. I'm just desperately trying to find a way out of this mess