I am the Deadpool

I'm a dirty, dirty, boy, come spank me. (parody account)

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

Did u know, I once cut off Wolverine's fully erect penis. It was a 3 sum, don't ask. But yes, it did regenerate erect and we just kept going

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

Just getting ready for football season!!! #deadpool #NFLDraft2016 #NFLDraft #NFL #itsgood

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

Who's hungry for a ring pop :) ? #deadpool #anuspop #tasty

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

So, how does this whole sending out dick pics thing work? #deadpool #superhero #deadpoolforpresident2016 #DMTalk

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

That's bullshit. I do not look like an avocado. #deadpool #avocadoface #superhero #SuperheroSaturday #Deadpool2

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

#morningwood my favorite of all the woods. Time for a quick impossible piss and then I'm ready for a quick jerk. #SaturdayMorning #deadpool

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

@VancityReynolds I love your work. I'm so glad we finally got on the big screen after so many years! #serious #deadpool #vanwilderwasbetter

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

I banged this crazy bitch years ago, named Lorena Bobbitt. Thankful for regeneration. #deadpool #bitchesbecrazy #johnwasntsolucky

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

Ready to get your action boner on? Go get #deadpool now. #SuperHeroDay #bestmovieever #funny #massiveboner

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

Get #deadpool now! This video is guaranteed to make panties wet! And your woman might like it too. #SuperHeroDay

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

#SpiderMan is a #bitch , has he nailed Mary Jane yet? #helikesboys #SuperHeroDay #deadpool

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

Does anyone else have outlook calendar events for when they jerk off? Mine is always an all day event. #Deadpool #deadpoolcomedy #busyjerkin

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

#wtfiswrongwiththisguy #fuckingweirdo #deadpool #deadpoolcomedy

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

@VancityReynolds I just finished twice thinking of you! You're the only man for me. #Deadpool #comingearly #toosoon

[Ryan Reynolds @VancityReynolds]

This doesn't usually happen to me. #yesitdoes #tuesday

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

#ImSoUglyINeed to wear a mask while pleasuring myself. #deadpoolcomedy #deadpool #FridayFeeling

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

What's hard and long and has cum in it?

-Cucumber
#deadpool #deadpoolcomedy #shittyjokes #notacock

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

What is 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives all the bitches crazy?
-$100, get out of the fucking gutter. #deadpool #deadpoolcomedy

[I am the Deadpool @deadpoolcomedy]

I think turning that Chucky doll into a sex doll would both excite and scare people. I'd nail that! #horny #Deadpool #weirdthingsarouseme