Cal Schave

Washing away a negative world while keeping myself from going down the drain with it.

[St. Vincent @st_vincent]

I want to be the kind of asshole who sees a fashion kid in a vintage Metallica tee shirt and insists they be able to sing at least one song from “Ride the Lightning.”

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

Vote you chodes. #vote #democracy

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

@HastingsCutoff https://t.co/foAM0gEL1M

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin or his background or his religion..."

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

#ValarMorghulis https://t.co/VTWnlsLa8n

[The Onion @TheOnion]

5 Things To Watch For On ‘Game Of Thrones’ Season 7

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

@realDonaldTrump This has to be one of the lamest responses to a news story that I have ever seen. #Drumpf

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

How can 'Signs' simultaneously be a great movie AND a terrible movie? #paradox

[Tariq Nasheed 🇺🇸 @tariqnasheed]

This little girl is my she-ro for the day.. She did Trump like the Bloods did Souja Boy #LOL 👌🏿

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

@danharmon Is he too turtle-y for your Turtle Congress? https://t.co/Xf1gl7rNWZ

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

I was disappointed with life every single morning... and then I learned how to avoid getting out of bed.

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

While it's a bit hypocritical, I need to share observations re: social media narcissism and how it relates to unfunny & uninteresting posts.

[Anthony Bourdain @Bourdain]

Glad our president is bravely taking on the #Nordstrom Crisis! Our long national retail nightmare will soon be over!

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

He scolded her, he mansplained to her, nevertheless #ShePersisted

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

@pattonoswalt Betsy DeVos is can learn schools.

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

I want a Negan Pop! https://t.co/iA8ShlYZM6

[Funko @Funko]

RT & follow @funko for the chance to win a Negan Pop!

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

@realDonaldTrump when are you going to begin to act like a leader and not an insecure child?

[Nerdist @nerdist]

When you've been waiting all year and it's finally your day. #Fridaythe13th

[Cal Schave @deadsounding]

If a 'news' story is allegedly false why hold a press conference and mention it repeatedly instead of just letting it go away? #thisisgolden

[Doug Benson @DougBenson]

Lots of great Donald Trump pee jokes on Twitter right now so I'm going to hold mine in.