Dear Blank

Reasonable requests to an unreasonable world.

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear Cosmo, Please provide more realistic ways to spice up my sex life. Licking my boyfriend's eyelids isn't hot, … https://t.co/ZTVwl9Aa40

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear girl who cheats off me in math class, You do realize I've been feeding you the wrong answers all semester, rig… https://t.co/zmYvjZ0KLk

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear fan, I realize I shouldn't jump on my bed, but seriously, violence is not the answer! Sincerely, that hurt! https://t.co/ifdU8bDY7d

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear MTV, I find it ironic that you're trying to prevent teen pregnancy, but you have shows about drugs, alcohol an… https://t.co/6AAINGbVlJ

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear Asian couple buying sushi and tea with a Hello Kitty debit card, Please, be more stereotypical. Sincerely, you… https://t.co/bTsIMQNaeC

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear nerd in my science class, I get that you wanna learn, but when someone has a lazer pointer and is pointing it … https://t.co/yVpRnO9vuo

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear Waldo, On a scale of Anne Frank to Osama Bin Laden, how good was my hiding spot? Sincerely, Saddam Hussein https://t.co/XyWvgyoYEr

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear kid in my class named Marco, Attendance has always been fun. Sincerely, POLO! https://t.co/r8NmGiuySi

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear parents, When I jokingly asked "was I planned?" and you answered with "We knew the risks." I died a little ins… https://t.co/qB2B2sLZEt

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear Obama, "We killed him and threw him in the ocean." Really? Sincerely, pics or GTFO. https://t.co/ACFNYXtT0J

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear light switch, Why must you be so close to the garbage disposal switch? Sincerely, scared the crap out of mysel… https://t.co/XC6AGtTFLS

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear Eve, Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets. Sincerely, Adam https://t.co/IBVWGx6nYJ

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear dignity, Please forgive me when she starts to dance on the table. Sincerely, tequila. https://t.co/DZSMo2sdag

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear best friend, When I die, immediately clear my web history. Sincerely, seriously, it's important. https://t.co/pgHZJ7DkAK

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear world, My goal is to survive five apocalypses. Sincerely, three down... https://t.co/slSwHwGglL

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear Mr. 4.75 shots of espresso, 3.5 pumps of hazelnut and 2.75 pumps of vanilla, half non-fat and half whole milk,… https://t.co/H351URUDr0

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear Ben, For the last time, marijuana is not a flavor. Sincerely, Jerry https://t.co/RV691fou5J

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear Wizard of Oz, The scarecrow had no brains, tin man had no heart, lion was a coward, and the wizard was a liar.… https://t.co/bNEpB69nZc

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear daughter, It's ok to tell me the truth, after all, I did pay for that birth control. Sincerely, I'm not THAT s… https://t.co/3MDT3viSLQ

[Dear Blank @dearblankplease]

Dear little brother, Yes, I will pretend to be a unicorn for your game of Harry Potter. No, I will not be named Mr.… https://t.co/f5GWc1NCgx