Death Hammer

That is not dead, which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons even death may die.

[พี่หม๋า พชรฐากูร ૮ • ﻌ -. ა⁩ @2act062]

สงสารนาง จะโดนเพื่อนล้อมั้ย ุ555555555

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

The company hired me to lead their "Agile Transformation."
I don't know what Agile means.
Nobody does.
That's why it works.

I make $425,000 a year.
To move sticky notes.
From left to right.
On a board.
The board is digital now.
The sticky notes cost $80,000 in Jira licenses.
Progress.

Day one, I said "we need to break down silos."
Everyone nodded.
Silos are bad.
I don't know why.
But destroying them is a career.
My career.

I introduced "squads."
Squads are teams.
But disrupted.
We disrupted the teams into teams.
Different names.
Same people.
Same problems.
But Agile problems now.
Agile problems are strategic.

A senior engineer asked what we're actually changing.
I said, "The mindset."
He asked what that means.
I said, "It's a journey."
He asked where we're going.
I said, "Toward agility."
He asked what agility means.
I pointed at the sticky notes.
They were moving left to right.
That's velocity.
We have velocity now.

The VP of Engineering said two-week sprints don't fit their work.
I said, "That's waterfall thinking."
Waterfall is bad.
Like silos.
I don't know what waterfall is.
But I know it's bad.
She stopped talking.
Waterfall accusations end conversations.

We had a retrospective.
In the retro, we discussed what went wrong.
Everything went wrong.
We put it on sticky notes.
Then we moved the sticky notes.
Into a column called "Parking Lot."
The Parking Lot is where problems go to die.
It's full.
We don't look at it.
That's agile.

Velocity is up 40%.
I defined velocity.
I also defined the points.
I also defined the stories.
We're crushing it.
At the things I made up.
To measure.
Ourselves.

The CEO asked for ROI.
I showed a chart.
The chart went up.
Charts should go up.
This one did.
I didn't label the Y-axis.
Nobody asked.
Leadership is confidence.

We do standups now.
Every day.
We stand.
For 45 minutes.
Standing is agile.
Sitting is waterfall.
My legs hurt.
But we're transforming.

The transformation is now "Phase 3."
Phase 1 was assessment.
Phase 2 was implementation.
Phase 3 is "continuous improvement."
Continuous means forever.
Forever means job security.
I'm very secure.

My contract was extended.
Three more years.
For "cultural impact."
The culture is confused.
But impacted.

Agile transformation isn't about being agile.
It's about transforming.
Continuously.
Toward more transformation.
The destination is the journey.
The journey is billable.

[Mark Gadala-Maria @markgadala]

2) Dog olympics (98M views in 4 days)

[Piers Morgan @piersmorgan]

Djokovic is right. That Channel 9 guy was an absolute tool.

[The Saviour @TheSaviour]

What happened to the old Elon Musk?

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

The rise in prices (inflation) is caused by government overspending, which increases the amount of money faster than the increase in goods & services output.

That is the vast majority of the problem.

Inflation was particularly bad during the Covid years, as there was massive government spending, despite productivity plunging, as people were forced to stay home.

This is further exacerbated by excess regulation, which prevents the market from solving an unmet need (eg housing in high-demand areas).

Occasionally, there is monopolistic behavior by companies, but this is relatively rare and usually only possible if those companies have gained control of their industry regulator. Again, a government, not private sector, problem.

[Anonymous @YourAnonNews]

@piersmorgan Piers Morgan be all up in that "Let me see your pussy!"
You fucking weirdo.

[Tom Garratt @Tgarratt10]

That prison guard video is one of the craziest things I’ve seen online. Happily showing her badge number and face on camera, with a wedding ring on ffs 🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

[Fiona Patten @FionaHPatten]

There is still time to share your vaping story with the Australian Senate Inquiry. For more info and assistance go here!

https://t.co/E9vxE7Yvb3

#vaping #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs

[The Real Truther @thereal_truther]

https://t.co/f2KIy5q05z

[Alternate Media Watchers @AltMediaWatch]

@MRobertsQLD You only oppose this because cookers do, while literally voting to increase surveillance powers.

[Death Hammer @DeathHammer999]

@MRobertsQLD You're a clown. Shut up already

[AEC ✏️ @AusElectoralCom]

@Elizabe79298820 Not sure how to help you. You’ve consistently posted theories that defy a century of trusted electoral processes, transparency involved etc.

Not sure why distrusting the process despite objective facts to the contrary appears to be a hobby. Suggest you get a different hobby.

[Death Hammer @DeathHammer999]

@Elizabe79298820 @AusElectoralCom Weird how you cookers think you speak for all of Australia.

[The_Great_Australian_Cooker @CookersOzStyle]

LOL, Cooker Wars in Sydney as Guru's supporters, including wife Mel, Bec Freedom, Qaz Harris and others try to get the Guru n stage but to no avail. A bit of a long watch, but funny! 🤣🤣🤣

[Death Hammer @DeathHammer999]

@PaulineHansonOz https://t.co/Bfv9iuiar2

[Vaxatious Litigant 💉⚖️👨‍⚖️ @ExposingNV]

Billy’s Concerns Notice

[Death Hammer @DeathHammer999]

@DrBillyBay You're a moron. So much winning but not

[Death Hammer @DeathHammer999]

@cafelockedout Far out you guys are all idiots.

[Death Hammer @DeathHammer999]

@senatorbabet You’re literally funded by a fat billionaire that’s part of the establishment, you utter moron