deborah

[deborah @debje1989]

@myrr_90 People: "You've changed." Me: "Well I couldn't stay a sperm forever could I.

[deborah @debje1989]

@myrr_90 Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. The sign said: "Disneyland Left", So they started crying and headed home."

[deborah @debje1989]

"@Hilarious_Notes: No matter how old you are, when a little kid gives you a Toy Phone and says its for you, You answer that shit."@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

"@VeryFunnyPosts: I don't trust Penguins. I know you can fly you sneaky fucks!"@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

@myrr_90 What flickering lights mean: ❒ Something electric. ✔ Someone's gonna get killed!"

[Sarcasm! @DamnHiIarious]

"I don't know... let's Yahoo it!" - Said by no one, ever.

[deborah @debje1989]

@myrr_90 My head says, "go to the gym." but my heart says, "stay on the internet forever and eat tacos!""

[deborah @debje1989]

"@epictweets_: Lazy rule → Can't reach it, don't need it."@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

"@epictweets_: I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I keep to myself."@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

"@ComedyPosts: Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

"@Hilarious_Boy: Twitter gives me this paranoid feeling that I'm being followed."@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts. lol

[deborah @debje1989]

"@CooIPosts: Lazy Rule: If it falls under the bed, it’s gone. Forever."@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

"@CooIPosts: PMS = Prepare to meet Satan."@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

"@girlposts: I never argue, I just explain why I'm right."@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

"@CooIPosts: Homeless people are just hardcore campers."@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

"@Hilarious_Boy: A guy knocked on my door asking for a small donation for the local pool, so I gave him a glass of water."@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

"@DiaryOfHumor: "Dude, she just called you Mexican! "Oh hell no, hold my taco!""@myrr_90

[deborah @debje1989]

@myrr_90 Teacher: "You should know this, you learned it 3 years ago!" Me: "Bitch, I don't even remember what happened last week!""