Shreyaaa

just trying to be better • learner • cse undergrad

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

Hi, I'm Shreya, cse undergrad.
y1: Dived into vid editing, singing, dancing, public speaking.
y2 and y3: discovered ml & got hooked. Explored web dev.
y4: DSA-maxxing, trade ops(devops) intern at a hft.
Now, I'm focused on figuring out the kind of work and life I want long term.

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@rrrautela Oh damn, might as well check it out!!!!

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

So I was like f it
And started reading from the pdf itself!
I've been reading system design interview by Alex & wow I really love it so far
Been about 20 pages and im hoping to complete it by this month.
I've heard this is a pretty good one for beginners!

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

Why are cs related books so costly 💔

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@Ronin_VB_King Ikr it would be so depressing for them I just can't imagine getting a oracle offer revoked but life 🥀

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

FTE Offer revoked in our uni too :/

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@waqtfisthis Hehe thanks :)

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@Ronin_VB_King DSCE bangalore

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@pixperk Art.

[yashaswi. @pixperk]

reciprocation and expectations are, i think, deeply intertwined. both are often born from the same place: passion.

the more devoted you become to a person, a craft, an idea, or a dream, the more quietly expectations begin to grow. not because you're entitled, but because investment naturally creates hope. when you give your time, your energy, your attention, and pieces of yourself, some part of you starts wishing for an acknowledgment that it mattered. but the difficult truth is that neither people nor passions are obligated to reciprocate according to your expectations.

you can be honest. you can give your best. you can stay when leaving would be easier. you can pour years into becoming worthy of something. and still, the response may never arrive in the form you imagined.

perhaps that is one of the most painful realizations of adulthood: effort and outcome are not bound together by any universal law. we want to believe that sincerity guarantees affection, that hard work guarantees success, that loyalty guarantees permanence. but life has never signed that contract with us.

passion is often romanticized as something pure, but passion rarely teaches patience. more often, it teaches obsession. it narrows your focus until the thing you care about occupies more space in your mind than it occupies in reality. your thoughts begin orbiting around it. you start measuring your days against it. every silence becomes meaningful, every small gesture becomes evidence, every setback becomes something to be analyzed rather than accepted.

and when that happens, the hunger for reciprocation becomes impossible to ignore.

that hunger is not wrong.

wanting your effort to be seen, your love to be returned, your work to be appreciated, your dedication to mean something to someone other than yourself is one of the most human desires there is.
there is also a strange loneliness in passion that people rarely talk about.

when you care deeply about something, you begin carrying a private world inside you. a world made of hopes, imagined conversations, future possibilities, and meanings that nobody else can fully see. from the outside, people only witness your actions. they don't witness the thousands of silent negotiations happening within you.

they don't see the expectations being built brick by brick. they don't see the versions of the future you have already lived through in your head. they don't see how much of your identity has quietly attached itself to a particular outcome.

and perhaps that's why the absence of reciprocation hurts so much.
it isn't the rejection of a single act. it is the collapse of an entire internal world that you spent months or years building.

yet passion has a strange property. it can keep you moving long after reciprocation has stopped.

sometimes it convinces you that one more attempt, one more sacrifice, one more year, one more conversation will finally make everything balance out. and sometimes that persistence is admirable. sometimes it is the reason beautiful things are created. every great craft, every meaningful relationship, every ambitious dream requires a degree of irrational persistence.

but persistence has a shadow.
if left unchecked, it slowly transforms devotion into depletion. the difficult lesson is that reality is not responsible for preserving the stories we create around our devotion.

sometimes people leave.
sometimes dreams fail.
sometimes opportunities pass.
sometimes the thing we loved simply remains indifferent.

and in those moments, we are forced to confront a painful question:
"is this still giving me meaning, or am i only waiting for a return that may never come?"

because while devotion is beautiful, depletion is not.
there is wisdom in staying. but there is also wisdom in recognizing when something has taken far more from you than it has ever given back.

not everything worth loving will love you back. not every dream will reward your loyalty. not every effort will be matched. and perhaps maturity is learning that passion alone is not enough.

sometimes the healthiest thing is to find people, pursuits, and places that make sense after a while. things that don't demand endless sacrifice just to justify their existence in your life. things that nourish you as much as they challenge you.

because the goal was never to become someone who expects nothing. the goal is to become someone who can care deeply without losing themselves entirely in what they care about.

perhaps that is the real reciprocation.

not that the world gives back exactly what we offered, but that despite disappointment, we are still capable of finding meaning, creating beauty, and caring again. because the opposite of passion is not rejection.

it is indifference.

and a heart that still feels deeply, even after being disappointed, has lost far less than it thinks.
some things deserve perseverance.
others deserve acceptance.

knowing the difference is one of the hardest lessons passion ever teaches.

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@NayakRochan04 Here lol

https://t.co/gVvj6RayoF

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

Did I just watch Raj shamani cut a brain on his podcast

[Mahesh @MaheshPawaar]

big thanks to everyone who dropped real advice on this. it'll definitely help me in my preparation.

here's the summary:

– energy drain after work is REAL. mornings (4-6 AM) are the only time you can actually focus on DSA/system design

– prep your study table + resources the night before

– weekends = full revision of everything studied during the week

– physical books + pen-paper notes >> digital (less distraction)

– make short notes in ONE dedicated notebook

– explain concepts aloud – massive retention hack

– treat preparation like a second job… just with no salary until the offer letter arrives

– have a clear "why" beyond just salary (even "i deserve better" is valid – tie it to the kind of work, environment or growth you want). on tough days it keeps you going

– consistency > perfection: just don't skip. even 30 minutes counts. showing up daily builds confidence.

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@impanaj07 Hehehe met shravya 😼

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

Was entering the metro train, my best fren was getting down, saw me and hugged me and legit made my day better.
She was also getting back from work
I love life.

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@okbhaicool Yea 😭😭🙏🙏🥀

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@okbhaicool Actually in our uni also it was technical consultant and support engineer kinda role not sde 🫠🥀

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@okbhaicool Yes sure.
These are the ones I got, but I got it in-store itself
Timex Men White Round Dial Analog Watch - TWEG18433 https://t.co/XbCAPWXAFN
Trendline Men Quartz Dial Analog Leather Watch TW0TG8014 – Just In Time https://t.co/hkHbwpIfw1

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

So proud of myself to be able to get my fam gifts :)
Got watches for my dad and mama.
Sarees(it's not in pic tho) for my grandmom and aunt
Toys for cousins
Yet to give my mom something more special which I need to save up a lot.

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@waqtfisthis Yea even I was like that before, honesty the idea that maybe people notice that im alone was making me feel bad when I step out alone, now I realise no one gaf and we can do wtv we want, so I go out alone often now :)
It gets easier

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@Harry_The_Nerd Yea :/

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@Ronin_VB_King Apply off campus and ask referrals, connections.
It's so depressing honestly 😭
And there was a guy who was genuinely cracked and had got into GSOC too

[Shreyaaa @debuglol]

@impanaj07 Ikr I was so sad that i couldn't clear OA too cos of some bad edge cases.
It is always for the better