decay

20, he/him, edtwt, shedtwt, obslovetwt
In semi-sh recovery? This is my personal diary.
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦

[decay @decayingflesh5]

FINALLY seeing my boyfriend again in like 5 minutes 🥹 yayy

[decay @decayingflesh5]

@puppystarves So happy for you🫶

[decay @decayingflesh5]

My feelings just exploded or something I think I just admitted to wanting to relapse again and having suicidal ideation. What the fuck?? Why did i say that i dont know ohmygod i feel crazy

[decay @decayingflesh5]

I think I’m ruining my relationship

[toya ❀ shtwt @toyaholiic]

i want to cut i want to cut i want to cut i want to cut

[THE Pondering puss of shedtwt @ponderingpussy]

threw up like a teaspoon of liquid genuinely what was the point bruh

[✵ @nxymll]

What doesn’t kill you makes you feel like everything is your fault

[decay @decayingflesh5]

WHAT AM I DOING

[decay @decayingflesh5]

Sorry i’m ranting sm rn, everything just feels horrible and I wanna die

[decay @decayingflesh5]

Why does he never ask me WHY i’m not okay?

[kage @sukikage_]

passive suicidal ideation is like no i won't attempt but if i got hit by a car and died that'd be nice

[decay @decayingflesh5]

I think I accidentally made him feel guilty about something, but I don’t know how to act because I just feel so incredibly empty right now, very sad but also empty. Idk. I’m sad.
I feel like my emotions are too big for him to handle, they’re literally too big for me to handle?

[decay @decayingflesh5]

After I met those friends, I always thought I’d never be alone again, but it’s been way over a year since they dropped me and I’m still so angry and sad about it.

[decay @decayingflesh5]

Bf is playing games with my old best friend rn, which is fair because they’re his sisters partner, but it still feels like a betrayal (it’s not I just have irrational thoughts).
But I’m so so so depressed, I’m still so broken from when they left me.

[decay @decayingflesh5]

@cutsnwounds Dude are you okay??

[angel_wings🪽 @fawn_doegirl]

is it socially acceptable to tell someone im too depressed to hang out

[decay @decayingflesh5]

Crying cause it feels like everyone is moving on except me, they’re all just leaving me behind

[decay @decayingflesh5]

I’m still so angry, that they told me they’d never leave, but then leave the second it got hard for them. And now they have new friends and are happy, and go on with their lives, while I’m still stuck, and miserable and basically friendless. I’m SO angry and SAD.

[decay @decayingflesh5]

I’m at my moms cabin with her and my sister, my bf is home, he went out to play pokemon go today with my ex best friends (which is fair cuz it’s his sister and her partner), but he was also with their friends again, which are the people they dropped me for. Im so sad

[decay @decayingflesh5]

I can’t help but feel betrayed in a way, which is not rational thinking, I know. He has a right to be with everyone, and those friends were only there cuz of his sister. But i’m so heartbroken everytime they get mentioned or anything all the feelings about the situation come back