Decker Chaney

jack of all trades & master of none; Blue Devil born & raised: Duke alumna, Class of 2004

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

Why don’t we start calling abortion “removal of parasitic uterine mass.” Maybe it’ll confuse the extremists long enough for all Americans to get bodily autonomy.

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

I’ll just leave this here

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

@wendyqualls The topic was a bit of a nonsequitor; we had been discussing evolution. While making clay mystical creatures.

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

What’s the appropriate way to respond to a 10 year old when they say that they taught themselves what sex is but won’t explain it because it’s embarrassing? 😳

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

@wendyqualls Maybe you should handle this conversation since she’s your child? 😁

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

Okay, who wrote the web form that doesn’t recognize a hyphen as a valid character in a NAME field?!?!
That’s really messed up.

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

If phantom limb pain didn’t exist, then I would have totally had my right leg just above the knee and both arms above the elbows removed by now.

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

@MikeMcKeeDrums I’m sure you’ve also learned that Tennessee doesn’t require Driver’s Ed to get a license by the way people drive around here.

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

I never knew what a Venus Flytrap flower looked like before today

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

There’s a special place in hell for people who use styrofoam packing peanuts.

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

My niece rocking her @DeltaRae shirt I got her for her 1st Birthday!

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

Whenever I pass a home with a confederate flag flying in front of it, I have the urge to go in the middle of the night & swap it out with an American flag.

[Shane Claiborne @ShaneClaiborne]

Our mission is not just to convert non-Christians to Christianity… but to convert “Christians” to Christianity.

Many American Christians are more American than they are Christian. They’ve exchanged the cross for a gun. They prefer a savior who kills rather than one who dies.

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

Found out that you can give yourself a nosebleed from concentrating in real life. I didn’t think it was actually possible.

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

Pro-tip: If someone who is not in your contacts calls you & doesn’t leave a message, DO NOT CALL THEM BACK!
I had to change my phone number because a spammer spoofed my number & people were returning my “call.” Non-stop phone calls.

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

The “correct” response to common questions:
Where’s it at? - I got 2 turntables and a microphone

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

The “correct” response to common questions:
Where did the time go? - Third Cow

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

The “correct” response to common questions:
What time is it? - 4:30

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

@wendyqualls Thanks for the idea 😁

[Decker Chaney @deckdawg]

Support people who actually need service animals. Report all ads for companies telling you that you can get your pet “certified” as a service animal.