🧚🏼‍♀️

[🧚🏼‍♀️ @deedoodaa]

gf that’s always been too shy to make a waffle at a hotel continental breakfast 🤝 bf that never missed his chance to make one

[🧚🏼‍♀️ @deedoodaa]

@BertAve6 Looks like you

[🧚🏼‍♀️ @deedoodaa]

is there anything better than a crunchy back crack

[🧚🏼‍♀️ @deedoodaa]

just switched my ceiling fan to go clockwise for the winter and I’m feelin like an aerospace engineer

[buxom and bald @BitchassChicken]

RIP Hagrid 🖤

[🧚🏼‍♀️ @deedoodaa]

I can tell my period is coming by the way I teared up listening to Who Knew by Pink this morning

[🧚🏼‍♀️ @deedoodaa]

@Empress__Jae @DazedDesiree

[Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roywoodjr]

You can tell when the two flight attendants don’t fw each other. Zero chemistry on the drink cart

[Mark Cuban @mcuban]

Please help us spread the word. We WONT SPEND A NICKEL ON MARKETING. WE COMPLETELY RELY ON WORD OF MOUTH This allows us to price at such low prices. So all help is welcome from everyone and anyone !

[ADHD Jesse @adhdjesse]

Nobody warns about the hazards of reading at a young age.

I’ll be mispronouncing words like “haphazard”, “melancholy”, and “hors d'oeuvres” for the rest of my life.

[🧚🏼‍♀️ @deedoodaa]

dating at 27 is asking ur bf if he wants to go half on a baby when he sends u a pic of him mowing a lawn

[RapCaviar @RapCaviar]

Welcome to Sosa Studies class

[🧚🏼‍♀️ @deedoodaa]

I don’t care if I miss my flight I am not getting on the plane until Shrek Forever After finishes downloading

[𝗕𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘇𝘆’🦉 @OvOBrezzzy]

Next time gas go under $2 ima put some in the freezer

[b̴̢̳̦̹̝̣̙͚̆͆u̸̧̠̩͓̦̤͎͈͑̓̔̇͒͒̉͒́͝ģ̸͓͙̻͎̺̓́̿͛̌̚͠ 💋 @pbrpisces]

soulmates are friends too, not just partners

[🧚🏼‍♀️ @deedoodaa]

slavic version of the sex talk

[hales @hayvyoral]

never had the sex talk but i did have the “you have a long line of alcoholics in ur family so you need to be careful” talk

[🧚🏼‍♀️ @deedoodaa]

accidentally spelled observation “observatino” and it’s now my new favorite word

[philip lewis @Phil_Lewis_]

Someone in the crowd: “You’re late!”

Rihanna: “No shit.”