Michael Dekan

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

Has shower, puts shampoo in hair. Closes eyes. Conveniently remembers all scary faces from all scary movies ever seen. Burnsssss

[Titus O'Reily @TitusOReily]

Got the Census website to work so I filled in everyone's. If anyone asks, all 24 million of you stayed at my place last night. #census2016

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

Baby chicken = Chick. Full grown female chicken = Hen. Chick+ Hen= Chicken.
#bruuh

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

@breannaobrienn mother fkr💞

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

Having the worst week, then coming home to this #LoveHer 💞@breannaobrienn

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

@felicityjxyne I'm literally in love!

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

@felicityjxyne did you see it?!?!

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

Heating up your chicken wings in the oven doesn't make you a 'chef' or 'wife material' 🍗

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

@ellenfawcus it's pretty much inedible!!

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

@Deeekan14 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

@sheriiidan FUCKING TRUE?!?!

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

Coriander ruins everything

[Brazzers @Brazzers]

People who say they're on Tinder to meet new people are the same people who say they watch Brazzers to watch the plumber fix the pipe.

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

@Optus 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

Optus data rolls over now!😱💞💞

[Michael Dekan @Deeekan14]

Dale no power tools! 'Oh okay.. Well I'm almost done anyway..

[Jeremy Clarkson @JeremyClarkson]

I'm very excited to announce that Hammond, May and I have signed a deal with .@AmazonVideo