Joey

[Joey @deestlore]

Accidentally bought 3lbs of shitty cheese I’m left with no other option

[Joey @deestlore]

@kbsteele When McDoubles were two for $2 I thrived off 8–10 McDoubles, it all made sense

[Joey @deestlore]

@seattleiminyou Me ten hours from now asking the beer store lady for a pack of turquoise American spirits knowing full well she’s going to card me and explain how her dead son would’ve been my age and also how she was right to kill her dogs

[Joey @deestlore]

@vvictoriaclare Gotta be like six hours, back yard window is always unlocked though

[Joey @deestlore]

Someone should move into the master bed/bathroom and pay half my rent, I haven’t entered this bathroom in six months and only enter the bedroom to look for cables. Only conditions are that I will be in the living room watching Voyager at 2:45AM sharp every day

[Joey @deestlore]

Ever since I was a young man in ranier beach I knew I was destined to live somewhere dominated by Safeway violence (entire United States)

[Joey @deestlore]

I personally killed the radio star everyone was just too relieved to do anything about it

[Joey @deestlore]

@bugcel_ Give it like 6 more years and you don’t even have to worry about it anymore, it will always be the end

[Joey @deestlore]

@bugcel_ I mean I wouldn’t charge that much less but I did marry a white-passing Puerto Rican at one point

[Joey @deestlore]

I only make lasagna twice a month but thanks to advanced deep 11x14 technology that means I get to eat nothing but lasagna for at least eight days

[Joey @deestlore]

@seattleiminyou My gas light came on hermiston one time and I pulled into the next gas station without thinking, the approaching attendant scared me so much I peeled out and just barely made it to tri-cities

[Joey @deestlore]

@pepsibong I go to Winco on Saturday mornings in the spring/summer because that’s when they bus the migrant workers in and suddenly no one is blocking the entire four-cart-wide aisle while they take a call loud as hell or stare into space

[Joey @deestlore]

Boneless skinless chicken box? I get involved with that

[Joey @deestlore]

It’s finally psychological torture season at the suffering factory

[Joey @deestlore]

Apple TV 4K doesn’t even allow you to not watch roseland ballroom these days

[Joey @deestlore]

@meghann_23 Real

[Joey @deestlore]

You guys wouldn’t even know where to turn for some of this shit

[Joey @deestlore]

Every foldable buyer I know never made it a full year with one phone even before they bought a foldable, as long as this thing is remotely functional at 16 months I’m not sure this is putting off many potential customers

[javi @Javi]

That’s… kind of concerning. That’s just 27 times a day for a year.

[Joey @deestlore]

@biscuitsnhazy Real

[Joey @deestlore]

@madsmotionless I’m so excited, I cut my hair like 3x max in the summer anyway but in the winter no one even has to know