Marge

your fave CPA

[Marge @defnotmarge]

When Darius Rucker calls his ex for a hook up at 2 it’s referred to as a Hooty Call.

[BetMGM 🦁 @BetMGM]

Tommy DeVito got to the Super Bowl before:

Josh Allen
Lamar Jackson
Justin Herbert
Dak Prescott
The Browns franchise

[Marge @defnotmarge]

I’ve been a homeowner for 24 hours and I’ve already finished painting the mudroom and master bedroom. I never want to do it again. Also why did the previous owner paint the house like a key west vacation rental??

[Chanluh 🪐 @chxnluh]

WHOOOO DID HE TAG????

[Marge @defnotmarge]

Why can’t this happen to all men who cheat lol

[Scott Hughes @ScottHughesCBB]

UPDATE: Ex-Michigan head coach Sherrone Moore was detained and arrested after breaking into the home of the staffer he had an affair with. Moore threatened to kill the staffer and himself. He’s currently in protective custody.

[msu trustees @msutrustees]

No need to worry, Jim Harbaugh is here!

[Lane Kiffin @Lane_Kiffin]

Listen to your heart ❤️

[Marge @defnotmarge]

I love drew lock!

[Marge @defnotmarge]

@IraGilligan If I’m doing audit and accounting cpe into my 80s put me down lol

[Marge @defnotmarge]

I miss red zone

[Marge @defnotmarge]

My gen z coworkers love to say crashing out what does it mean

[Marge @defnotmarge]

I guess one exception is if I travel internationally then no chipotle just train station sandwiches and a bag of chips with the flavor in a language up I can’t read/too lazy to google.

[Marge @defnotmarge]

Two things are certain when I travel for work, I’m staying at a Marriott and I’m eating chipotle for dinner

[Thomas Carrieri @Thomas_Carrieri]

Rob Gronkowski on the first day of WWIII so he can finally get a USAA membership.

[Nate McGrady @natemcgrady]

car dealerships should not exist

I should be able to go to Chevy dot com, add a Camaro to my cart, and checkout with klarna

[james tom @jestom]

"I asked chatgpt"
I confided in amazon
I confessed to mcdonald's
I have an inside joke with exxon mobil

[Marge @defnotmarge]

I’m 30 but I can still back flip on the trampoline like it’s nobody’s business 😤

[Adam Schefter @AdamSchefter]

Scott Hanson announced today that he is returning for his 17th season as host of NFL RedZone. “100 days from now = NFL RedZone & for those wondering: Yes, I will be there,” Hanson posted on social media. “We have A LOT of TDs to watch together!”

[bria celest @55mmbae]

People who understand hot sauce etiquette are the best. Don’t try to give me no Louisiana or tapatio hot sauce for Asian food

[Marge @defnotmarge]

If I were president my first executive order would be to let people bring their 12 oz cans of Diet Coke through security, #Marg2036