@jdesmondharris LW can just tell her family “I loaned sister $4,000 to help with the baby and she’s decided not to pay me back,” if they are wondering why she is cold / awkward towards sister (it’s essentially true). What I don’t see is whether LW actually wants to see sis and fam.
@jdesmondharris Just make new friends isn't easy, but I think LW has 3 options w/o outing herself: (1) Firmly push back against Ella when she makes icky statements, up to physically leaving the conversation (2) Avoid spending time with Ella 1-on-1 (3) seek out groups / clubs / allies at school
@jdesmondharris Trick I learned from a chef recently: after peeling the avocado, wipe the outside with a paper towel. This apparently gets rid of the enzyme that causes the browning.
@jdesmondharris LW then needs to leave any conversation where sister or family try to learn more (or force an introduction). Make it boring. And don't apologize for doing what was the right thing for you.
@jdesmondharris I think the right move for the LW is to say -once - to the sister, "This is my biological child who was adopted as an infant. I don't want any contact with them, nor do I want to have any additional conversations about this. Please respect my privacy."
@jdesmondharris This should be such a deal-breaker. "Your friends shouldn't get a vote in our relationship" sounds like some classic abusive isolation stuff.
LW needs to see a therapist, talk to whomever she wants about this, change all of her passwords, and move out.
@Nicole_Cliffe When I was in high school working for a vet, I was always so excited because one of the vets took me on a lot of his farm calls instead of the other (adult, licensed) technicians. Finally, one of them caught on that I didn't know the vet was supposed to do the sheath cleanings.