Delaney

♏️🦋🌟 what the fk is up denny’s

[Delaney @delaneenee]

one thing about me, you can count on me not showing up early and rushing you for anything❤️ bc i will be 3 hours late

[Chris @citehchris]

can you die from a lack of being called big dawg

[Ajibola @4jibola]

music is honestly one of the best parts of being alive.

[Delaney @delaneenee]

“as soon as i lock eyes with a toilet it’s over”

[Delaney @delaneenee]

not the longest day ever, and a scrumptious cherry on top to it a centipede gotta really show up and say fuck you sweetie let’s keep it goin

[Delaney @delaneenee]

2009 stand up and scream asking alexandria is so fucking peak

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

Work. Work. Work. Stay hydrated. Go to the dentist. 10,000 steps. “What’s for dinner?” Insurance. Drink water. Pay a bill. Pay a bill. Smile. Credit Score. Check engine light. Go get gas. ALLERGIES! TAXES! STUDENT LOANS! Phone storage full. Email. Email. Apple $12.99. Apple $9.99. Subscriptions. Subscription. Overdraft. Laundry. Fold. Text. Text. Text. Clean the house. “I haven’t seen you in a while.” Doctors appoinment. Hair appoinment. Nail appointment. RENT. WAR! GOVERNMENT! POLITICS! THE PRESIDENT!!

[Delaney @delaneenee]

workout humbled me so hard had to listen to country music on the way home

[☆ ★ @imfynerthanfyne]

told my mom to text me saying i need to go home so i can show my manager and this was her message 😭

[Delaney @delaneenee]

parallel parking while smoking a cigarette it’s such a challenge

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Every morning drive to work has at least one main villain

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Be prepared, there is a small chance that our horrendous leadership could unknowingly lead us into World War III.

[A @seattleiminyou]

Saying grace before smoking a cigarette

[Jett 🜲 @iky_fwjett]

i wish coworkers would fight in the bathrooms like in middle school

[Delaney @delaneenee]

when you block someone’s number and they start messaging you on tiktok

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

White people be like I narcanned my mom