Delaney Dowd

do no harm, but take no shit.

[Delaney Dowd @delaneydowd13]

And you know what, she’s right.

[La Tia Puercaylor @LaPuercaylor]

TAYLOOOR?!!?!

[mirrorball ❤️‍🔥 @penthouseheart]

everyone in my life texting me and congratulating me like i am the one who announced my engagement

[jess @enchantedjess13]

i feel like i need to give a press release statement

[pippa @piptweets]

I AM SO HAPPY FOR MY CLOSE AND PERSONAL FRIEND TAYLOR SWIFT

[mirrorball ❤️‍🔥 @penthouseheart]

swifties in the workplace

[Betches @betchesluvthis]

Jason Kelce is the Barbara Walters of our generation

[MAStermind 💿🚒 @samisntokay]

My lettuce in the salad spinner

[irene anna❤️‍🔥 @enerianna]

also WHY do they want to remove fluoride from our water are we in a parks and rec episode

[Pandy Fackler ❄️ @ThatBrenna]

Oysters are the jello shots of the sea

[Emily Miller @emily_f_miller]

If you’re looking for something actually worth celebrating this Fourth of July you’re in luck because I have come across some incredible news: IT’S THE CAESAR SALAD CENTENNIAL. Caesar and fries crowd - this is our moment. Don the green on 7/4. It’s only right.

[George Civeris @georgeciveris]

I am walking down the aisle to Espresso at my wedding.

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

watching a lot of documentaries about cults. mostly to find the one that’s right for me.

[soy milk @sereneeeeeeeee]

Give me 3 espresso martinis and I could be an nfl running back

[craig lunch @USAskillissue]

they call it wonton soup cuz i be wonting some

[john patrick: future president @john_from_hr]

i know it’s sexist but when i see a skeleton i immediately think man. I’m aware women can die, it just hurts to think that it’s true.

[Delaney Dowd @delaneydowd13]

The best surprise song dont @ me

[Taylor Swift Updates 💎 @swifferupdates]

🎥| Gracie and Aaron Dessner covering "Right Where You Left Me" at an acoustic session in NYC tonight

[Delaney Dowd @delaneydowd13]

@retraC__ I was named after a Jimmy Buffett song 🥹🕊️

[Matilda Bress @matildabress]

Playing margaritaville like taps today