delaney mattson

yeet

[Hank Smith @hankrsmith]

Heard this idea the other day and loved it:

The Resurrected Lord Jesus Christ is quite an intimidating Being to comprehend and approach. Knowing our hesitation, He gives us an opportunity at Christmas time to see Him as a baby.

[Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti]

I forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of stand-up comedy and then asked it to write stand-up comedy of its own. Here is the first page.

[pill @nutfilled]

me when the devil on my shoulder tells me a sick joke

[m @maritzarsndz]

ON MY BLOCK GOT RENEWED FOR SEASON 2 🗣

I REPEAT

ON MY BLOCK GOT RENEWED FOR SEASON 2 🗣

[Chick-fil-A, Inc. @ChickfilA]

Team Mini was unleashed in Austin to deliver Chick-n-Minis for #ChickfilABreakfast. Happy #NationalPetDay, y'all! ❤️🐶

[ᶜᵒⁿˢᵗᵃⁿᵗⁱⁿᵉ @greenIight]

listening to melodrama vs listening to pure heroine

[Chance The Rapper @chancetherapper]

Them harry potter jelly beans 😷 https://t.co/B0yNgFqavs

[dharma🥈 @DharmaBoreman]

100k IS A LONG SHOT BUT PLEASE HELP A GIRL OUT!!!!!!!!

[Google @Google]

For International Women’s Day, we celebrate those working toward a more equal future. Explore top searched trends around women at https://t.co/cc0EVAWBmQ. #IWD2018

[𝙍𝙍𝙃𝙎 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙏𝙖𝙧𝙯𝙖𝙣! 🐒🌿 @rrhsmusical]

When you realize you got 8 nominations including best production!

[Joy Marie Clarkson @joynessthebrave]

When someone hasn't read a classic book, I always try to say "Oh! What a treat you have ahead of you!" rather than "I can't believe you haven't read this!" because no one wants to be shamed into reading.

We should lead with our delight in literature, not our pretentiousness.

[Riley Mattson @riley_mattson]

@delaneymattson and I cried https://t.co/aMXqTr5tJD

[karina @newracesuit]

my sense of humor has gone so low that i find this funny