Delfie Kariuki

Just cause you massage a snake, don't expect it to forget how to bite when you provoke it👌

[Delfie Kariuki @delfiewam]

I have never actually seen a yellow duck 😧

[Attah Akor @attah_akor]

Nobody:

The bride's friends at the wedding after advising her to leave the groom several times:

[NTV Kenya @ntvkenya]

By-election gift: Mbeere North residents demand return of removed transformers https://t.co/Il8TIzBdeR

[Kylian Mbappé @KMbappe]

Madame Celeste Amarilla,
Vous êtes une femme méprisable et indigne de sa fonction.
Vous ne représentez pas le Paraguay, ce pays qui a transpiré la passion et l’honneur tout au long de la compétition. Par votre inconscience et votre racisme décomplexé, le monde entier a déjà oublié le parcours et l’effort historique que vos joueurs ont réalisés durant cette coupe du monde pour laisser place à une dame incompétente donnant la pire image possible de son pays.
Je ne laisserai jamais aux gens comme elle, la liberté de laisser propager leur haine et leur racisme à travers le monde.

[Moe @moneyacademyKE]

The audit reveals that Finsprint, a private firm involved in the SHA payment system, deducts a 2% fee from every payment made to hospitals before the money is sent.

Strangely, it also says the firm's majority shareholder has no verifiable address.

[Lion @LionInCrisis]

yeah he's a troublemaker but blur my kids’ faces next time.

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

You can actually put 30 different fruits in a smoothie but when you put a banana in that mf it is now a Banana Smoothie.

[rene.pdf (draft) @odanga_r]

What the fuck is a “SUMMER festival” in Kenya? A country on the Equator?

I want you people to use your brains.

[Wamutahi @Son_of_Laikipia]

Hapa Laikipia ata mahindi ziko na spokesman 💀😂.

[𝗞 𝗔 𝗡 𝗚 𝗘 𝗧 𝗛 𝗘™🇰🇪 @Realkangethe]

"Kasmuel is just an eloquent goons in a nice suit" — Cleophas Malala's son Leon Major Malala deconstructing kasmuel on KTN ladies and gentlemen 🤣🤣Ni Mbaya!!

[LANDLORD🇰🇪 @bozgabi]

Algorithm ikikufikisha hapa piga RETWEET to pay tributes to our fallen Comrades🕊️

[Billy @MwangiHub]

Finance Bill 2026.

Out of 347 MPs, only 162 showed up to vote on one of the most consequential pieces of legislation affecting millions of Kenyans.

122 voted YES
40 voted NO
185 MPs were absent

If only 162 MPs can determine the future of the country's finances, then Kenyans have every right to ask:

Why are taxpayers funding 347 MPs when nearly half the House is missing during critical national decisions? 🇰🇪

[Nancy Gathage (CFE) @Mennelic]

JKIA will be built by a contractor from Zimbabwe😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Duane Rollins @24thminute]

The reason Ethiopia doesn’t win the Super Bowl is because all of their best athletes are in long distance running.

[Nzioka Muli @nziokamul1]

The plan is to make Kenya a failed state;
1. Destroy the middle class.
-shut down manufacturing companies.
-overtax the working class.
-inflation.
-hike the cost of living.
-no increments on salaries.

2. Turn everyone into a beggar.
-introduce digital currency.
-government as biggest employer.
-destroy informal sector.
-divest manufacturing.
-over regulate/ over tax small and medium enterprises.
-subsidise corporates.

3. Privatize land.
-give access to farmland to global agricultural multinationals.
-bills that take away land sovereignty from the citizen.
-introduce a land tax.
-create squatters.

4. Control housing.
-15 minute cities.
-over surveillance.
-avoidable housing for those who can't afford a tax on their freehold land.

5. Destroy seed sovereignty.
-introduce only patented seedlings.
-prioritise GMOs and hybrids.
-demonize indigenous seeds and organic farming.
-pass bills that curtail the growth and aspirations of small scale farmers.

6. Privatize water.
-force a people to need a license to harvest rain water, rivers or dams.
-overtax boreholes so only the rich can afford them.
-give global beverage and bottled water companies uninhibited access.

7. Enslave the nation in debt.
-borrow from global banking cartels;
IMF, World Bank, China EXIM Bank, European Central Bank, African Development Bank...
-squander taxes.
-loot borrowed money.
-use national assets as colateral for debt.

8. Destroy Sovereignty.
-allow foreign military bases in your land.
-allow foreign governments say so in your socio-economic/ political issues.
-allow biological weapons labs.
-allow for looting of mineral wealth and natural resources.

9. Create an illiterate populace.
-remove free education.
-introduce a new education model without proper planning.
-allow globalist entities to fund your curriculum.
-dumb down the learners.
-divest/privatise higher learning institutions.

10. Devalue the currency.
-print fiat without regulation.
-inflation.
-loot gold and silver reserves.
-allow global banking cartels to set fiscal policy.

[Real Kimani @RealKaruga]

Everyone in Kenya knows an "Ebenezer shop" somewhere😂😂😂

[Dr. John Njenga Karugia PhD. @johnnjenga]

On Ebola

A tiny error and ebola spreads across the republic. Deaths of citizens. Travel advisories. No visas for citizens. Tourists cancel. Layoffs. Economy takes a hit. Ebola spreads to schools. Schools must close. Chaos. Months. Elections cancelled. Orphans. Widows. Ujinga! ⚖️

[KingstonGirl🍁 🇰🇪 @Lsankei99]

Shuts down USAID because American Money is for Americans and not Africans

Dumps sick deadly Americans in a third world African country with a failed healthcare system

[STF @tekinsaeko]

America will be first country to lock out Kenyans from going to America should we record even one single of ebola case. Yet you are here welcoming their sick patients. We are led by fools.

[Black Coffee @RealBlackCoffee]

Too many flies telling bees how to make honey.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

You reduce crime by eliminating poverty. The reason so called nice neighborhoods have lower crime rates is because people’s basic needs are being met. It is not because of police, alarm systems, or neighborhood associations. Poverty creates crime.