Todd

I drive a 1981 DeLorean DMC-12. Yes I’ve had it up to 88MPH. No, nothing special happened.

[matthew stasoff @mattstasoff]

these Barbie partnerships are getting out of hand

[Todd @DeLorean]

@spieltimes @MarynaMakhova Mine was in fulfillment status, and then I received the cancellation notice this morning.

[Todd @DeLorean]

@herrsturm Jesus is Lowered. He can’t make it over speed bumps but he looks dope as hell.

[Chromar @Chromar_]

Everyone: We need social distancing and self isolation to reduce the risk of infection and to save lives!

Introverts:

[lil jon lovitz(?) @liljonlovitz]

it's cool & fine that the down payment on a house in the present day is the same amount a bond villain in the 70's would demand to prevent him blowing up the moon

[Todd @DeLorean]

@herrsturm Hey, I know I’m late in responding but let me know if you need anything. (Events in my own life require me to take something like this pretty seriously.)

[Jim Kozyra @jimkozyra]

Old Navy t-shirts lose 70% of their structural integrity after 3 washes, but then hold steady for like 11 years.

[Todd @DeLorean]

@tmaaz Thanks, man. Kinda needed that today. And you’re not so bad yourself, ya know? You’re a good dude.

[Todd @DeLorean]

@scotts Try this. Looks like the site hasn’t been updated in a while, but the email addresses listed should still be valid. https://t.co/5T9HcozARn

[Shenanigans @Shenanigans_luv]

BARISTA: what can I get you

ME: medium roast please

B: ok, your gray roots are getting obvious and you have the silhouette of a potato

M: *under breath* damn

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

If a Transformer died could you just use it’s body as a regular car? Like, respectfully tho.

[Gundam Watch Order @djoats02]

*elementary school teacher calling roll in 2037*

teacher: naruto
“here”
teacher: pepe
“here”
teacher: jeff
“here”
teacher: jeff
“here”
teacher: jeff
“here”
teacher: beter
“its pronounced 🅱️eter”

[Sean O'Kane @sokane1]

*sees 280*

CONSCIENCE: "don't do it."

*still 223 left*

"srsly don't."

*closes eyes*

SOME
BODY
ONCE
TOLD
ME
THE
WORLD
IS
GONNA
ROLL
ME
I
AIN'T
THE
SHARPEST
TOOL
IN
THE
SHED
SHE
WAS
LOOKING
KIND
OF
DUMB
WITH
HER
FINGER
AND
HER
THUMB
IN
THE
SHAPE
OF
AN
L
ON
HER
FOREHEAD
WELL,

[Bridger Winegar @bridger_w]

.@realDonaldTrump I know today was rough, but hey, you still have the Facebook support of the dumbest person I can remember from high school

[Spencer Porter @porters]

ESPN just accidentally wrote a Radiohead song

[Jillian David -- find me on other sites @JillianDavid13]

Focus group. This could have been avoided with 1 focus group (of women).

[Chris Smith @chrissssmith]

The awkward moment your social media tool breaks, but unfortunately, you are the company that made it @Sprinklr #fail

[chuuch @ch000ch]

when u remember u got pizza rolls at home