DelutionalRN

Do no harm, take no shit. RN for the tiny humans, little humans, and adolescent humans. my opinions are my own. This account is not affiliated with my employer

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

RT if you’ve got a pocket full of alcohol swabs

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

Heading into work after getting a text saying every single unit is short and desperate. Tis’ the season for bronchiolitis and unsafe nurse to patient ratios

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

@BrowofJustice Basically... your uterus needs to contract (cramps) and your bowels also contract so everything is moving more

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

A charge nurse gave me a terrible, thoughtless assignment...

So I stole his good pen from him. Y’all know the ones, the smooth gel ones.

#noregrets

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

400lb patient salting a buttered English muffin: “this pink salt doesn’t have any sodium so I can use it”
I knew he was very wrong but I really appreciated his confidence so here I am using pink Himalayan salt

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

#unpopularopinion that nurses family should be sending her a fruit basket while working Christmas

Y’all know that Hulu commercial? Is this just me?
Either way I’ll be working Christmas ✌🏻

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

I live an hour away and had to get a hotel nearby out of my own pocket.

But at least the hospital said they’d feed us!! ...until they ran out of food every day

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

My hospital has a very strict extreme weather policy for nurses. Basically the policy is: get here or don’t bother ever coming back

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

Nurses were expected to stop and identify anyone they thought could be this person and then call hospital security.

Do they make scrubs with Kevlar and holsters?

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

This week our peds floor received threats from a very capable parent. Former cop and current military. The parent who brought the child in was terrified and trying to press charges.

But we can’t be a locked unit because of a fire code. Anyone can walk onto the unit.

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

@Techy_Nursey Peds nurse- I’ve seen plenty of active TB

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

Now we’re talking

[TacoVato @tacolovingspic]

@DelutionalRN I'd rather it come in blowdart form or tranquilizer bullet form.

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

I think Ativan should come in mace form

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

My boyfriend’s sick and I did chest PT. Such a mistake because he loved it

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

Peds nursing...

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

Do yourself a favor and go order a iced chai tea latte with cold foam. You’re welcome.

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

Well. I started my shift by getting out of my car and stepping in puke. Can’t wait to find out what the next 13 hours has in store

[nurseynurse @jump2thamoon]

I thought this was hilarious 😆

[DelutionalRN @DelutionalRN]

When people say “...Nurses aren’t supposed to have tattoos or purple hair!”

Does anyone else ever wanna joke around saying something dumb like “Well nurses also aren’t supposed to have felonies but HERE I AM” (joking)