Lyss

[Lyss @delysscious]

Looking at how you're supposed to live your life in evolutionary terms is awesome. Drink water, eat food, have sex, & sleep. True happiness

[Bernie Thoughts @berniethoughts]

THE UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS OF LOW SODIUM HAM

[Bradley Stern @MuuMuse]

Thanks to @Instagram’s incredible algorithm, we’re just a few days away from Christmas.

[jordan @JordanUhl]

Why don’t poor people just buy more money? https://t.co/0dl5dComnY

[Cole M. Sprouse @colesprouse]

. @dylansprouse didn’t like his Christmas gift.

[Ryan @themdashing]

It's okay if the most significant thing you did this year was get through it.

[Post Malone @PostMalone]

when the world ends and the economy collapses, nail clippers will be the ultimate bartering item

[Lyss @delysscious]

Get stoned and watch the life documentary series on Netflix and you'll thank me later

[Sam 🇭🇹 @hoodcuIture]

Your MCM spent $400 on snacks and appetizers and called it grocery shopping. Y’all eating chips and gatorade for the third night in a row https://t.co/FfmxeR2gHZ

[Ay-yay @ajrod95]

In normal families, do people talk one at a time? Wouldn’t know, we all just kinda yell at each other and you hear what you hear

[Jordan parody @jordanrubiks]

if your zodiac sign is asparagus dont even bother being my friend because im a caprisun and we are not compatible

[John Mayer @JohnMayer]

Merry Christmas. If you’re loving it this year, hold on because it goes by fast. If you’re not loving it this year, hold on because it goes by fast. ♥️

[Abby @hahaitsabby]

I saw AT LEAST 5 engagements on Facebook & I'm happy for them all, but to my future husband: don't propose to me on a holiday, I want our anniversary to be a separate special day, okkk? Ok.

[Lukas Battle @lukasbattle]

Picture this its 2010 and youre sleeping over at a friends house, u wake up to the flashing lights of the t.v. thats on mute. U know its late as fuck bc the sex phone line commercials are on. U are freezing bc youve been using a couch cushion as a blanket. Their basement is scary

[BettyGlocker /̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ @kiimberlystfu]

been feeling a lil like this lately

[BettyGlocker /̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ @kiimberlystfu]

I need to stop getting lit as fuck and buying shit online. Who the FUCK needs 100 hand warmers and a toilet plunger with rainbows on it