Sargeant Giddyap Caruthers

Don't take me seriously

[Hugh Laurie @hughlaurie]

fuck

[State of New York @NYGov]

it’s hole filling season

[zach @blip_tm]

NDAs are a great way to keep your corporate secrets safe from 1 or 2 beers but not 3 beers

[Sargeant Giddyap Caruthers @deman1027]

when the death metal album got that one smooth jazz part 👍

[yoshimi battles video game addiction @nise_yoshimi]

"this shit ain't nothing to me man" actually does help me get through the day sometimes. Thank you Dracula

[Governor Newsom Press Office @GovPressOffice]

MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING — AND I AGREE — THAT I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM (AMERICA’S FAVORITE GOVERNOR) DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. WHY? BECAUSE OF THE “MOST INCREDIBLE MAPS IN THE HISTORY OF MAPPING” (EVEN COLUMBUS). THESE MAPS WILL END THE “VERY RIGGED” ELECTIONS, MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN (MAGA!!!), RETAKE CONGRESS “FOR THE PEOPLE”, AND SAVE DEMOCRACY. NOBODY ELSE COULD HAVE DONE THIS — CERTAINLY NOT THE “SELF-PROCLAIMED” MASTER DEALMAKER DONALD “TACO” TRUMP (TINY HANDS) WHO MISSED “THE DEADLINE” AND LOST (SAD!). PEACE THROUGH MAPS — NO ONE HAS EVER THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE. I AM THE “PEACE TIME” GOVERNOR NOW, STOPPING “POLITICAL WARS” BEFORE THEY START. HARMONY, UNITY, EVEN LOVE. THE NOBEL COMMITTEE HAS GIVEN THIS AWARD TO LESSER PEOPLE FOR MUCH LESS. I, GAVIN C. NEWSOM, ACTUALLY EARNED IT. THE WORLD WILL BE SAFER, KINDER, AND FRANKLY MORE “BEAUTIFUL” BECAUSE OF MY MAPS. GIVE GAVIN THE NOBEL, MANY ARE SAYING. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! — GCN

[ShaneSaw M̷a̷s̷s̷a̷c̷r̷e̷ @FinalDude78]

some people have never dug through the ditches and burned through the witches and slammed in the back of a dragula... and it shows

[Buffalo Wild Wings @BWWings]

beer

[Mlick @Mlickles]

You know the “I’m scared of girls” bit gets sad after a certain age

[fucking every word @fuckeveryword]

fuck yourself

[Sargeant Giddyap Caruthers @deman1027]

on the metro looking broody thinking "they don't know I'm listening to Bolt Thrower" every time I exchange glances with someone

[Sargeant Giddyap Caruthers @deman1027]

@DSBMandchill They almost got me with the penny slot machines themed around beer

[Sargeant Giddyap Caruthers @deman1027]

@DSBMandchill First night in Vegas I saw a lot of this and nearly got secondhand depression and then the next day I assimilated

[Fetusberry 『Butt Soup』 Crunch @FetusberryJam]

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[donald boat @laserboat999]

Unfortunately for you, 007, that martini you just drank was laced with the finest skunk on the market, ancient sumerian alchemist kush, you're on that dino shit pack, smoking on alien brain tumor, they dropped us this pack from high orbit, Mr. Bond, this kush is... extraplanetary

[Sargeant Giddyap Caruthers @deman1027]

this is the finest creature I've ever seen

[serpy @chefmaeda]

put this animal together last night with dot minky fabric and i nearly cried because it looks like it has a disease

[Tottenham Hotspur @SpursOfficial]

Tottenham Hotspur Football Club.

[tyler woodward @tyler02020202]

If you’re a man aged 18-29 and ur lonely it’s because you suck