leigen

[leigen @Demeter797]

@Dearme2_ Consistent sleep. The brain must rest.

[leigen @Demeter797]

@simpleorganix Clearly you've never been traumatized by a woman before lol

[leigen @Demeter797]

@jerr_rrej If it doesn't affect my daily life, I don't need to spend mental energy concerning myself about it. Worry about the things that we can control, kings

[leigen @Demeter797]

@heavensbvnny My partner would become noticeably abrasive and hostile towards me if I went too long without having sex with her. Then she would joke about needing more frequent 'attitude adjustments' 🙄

[blue @bluewmist]

Hard Pill to swallow as an adult:

At some point, you will have to disappoint others to live a life that's honest to you.

People pleasing will drain you, not save you.

You have every right to set boundaries and choose your peace. You can disappoint people and still be a good person.

[leigen @Demeter797]

@krazondei at the end of our marriage, my wife would regularly bring up the most out of pocket topics, usually conspiracy related, all of which did not affect her daily life in any way. I knew it was all coming from tiktok and there was no chance for rational conversation.

[leigen @Demeter797]

BOUNDARIES.
Learn to set them, with anyone/everyone. Family, friend, colleagues, spouse, children, doesn't matter. If others know that you will not advocate for yourself and you stay silent when you're asked to do something you're not OK with, you will be abused all your life.

[leigen @Demeter797]

@TechSalesMerc I was incapable of setting boundaries because I didn't think that was something you did in a relationship. I thought my role as a man was to satisfy my wife no matter how much pain it caused me. My entire existence was dedicated to her comfort, convenience and sxl satisfaction.

[leigen @Demeter797]

@TechSalesMerc I was no perfect man, she was my first and only girlfriend>wife. I was emotionally immature because I had no prior relationships to learn from, and when I fell into addiction to cope with the things she was asking me to do, she weaponized my weakness back at me.

[leigen @Demeter797]

@TechSalesMerc fully consensual, though while she wanted to have hookups with unvetted men off Reddit, she was not comfortable with me hooking up with other women. It was 100% one-sided and I gaslit myself into believing I was cool w/ my wife wanting to be used as a c** dump by randos.

[leigen @Demeter797]

@TechSalesMerc The first time I ever truly abused alcohol/used it to suppress emotions was when I was coming home from work knowing that my partner was having a 'playmate' from Reddit hookups come over as I was on my way. That 50 minute drive was not pleasant.

[leigen @Demeter797]

'Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison'

[leigen @Demeter797]

Matthew 5:25 was the first Bible verse that stuck with me as an adult. I equate it to Jesus saying 'handle your shit proactively before it ruins your life and becomes a 10x bigger problem'. It felt like very relevant life advice that I needed to hear.

[leigen @Demeter797]

@Lovandfear So you're saying that we should... Just do it?
Agreed. Getting in motion is the hard part. Staying in motion is easy.

[leigen @Demeter797]

@d4thHand partner of 15 years accused me of viewing child p**n as I was scrolling X and she saw something she didn't approve of on my feed. not really interested in relationships after that

[Dad Starting Over @dadstartingover]

You cannot stress-manage your way back into your wife's desire. You've been trying for years. You've taken the kids so she could rest. You've handled her mother. You've been more than patient, more than fair, more than any reasonable person could ask. And the more you've done, the less she's wanted you, and you've never let yourself connect those two facts, because connecting them breaks the whole theology.

[leigen @Demeter797]

@josbjohnson Inspirational. Ty for posting this

[jo johnson @josbjohnson]

I wrote down exactly who I want to be and what I want my life to look like. then I asked what does he do. how does he start his day. what does he eat. when does he sleep. how does he handle the hard conversations. what does his work look like. I wrote all of it down. then I just started doing it. you don't have to feel like him first. you act like him until you are him.

[leigen @Demeter797]

I lost my agency at the age of 16 to a partner. I have never had a period of my adult life that I prioritized myself or my feelings. (28yo)
'agency - A person's psychological or moral capacity to make their own choices, exert control over their life, and act independently.'

[leigen @Demeter797]

going through a huge life change and now that I'm not living my life for someone else's benefit, everything is easier. Losing our self-agency is so, so dangerous.