parker

#1 in the world

[parker @denton_draw5]

working retail got me saying, “alrighty!!” and “okey-dokey!!”

[SEMATARY GRAVE MAN 𐕣 𐕣 𐕣 @SEMATARYGRAVEMN]

Mfs have Not even begun to Grasp What Ive done with Witch House and Haunted Mound It’s fine to Not understand But don’t Pretend like U do

[parker @denton_draw5]

ed sheeran would be the best medieval bard

[parker @denton_draw5]

@777heatwave i hope it was worth the wait

[parker @denton_draw5]

my son: takes first steps

me: does a backflip and absolutely owns him

[parker @denton_draw5]

guys.. will smith literally slapped chris rock in the face 😭😭

[young professional @armedcarjacking]

BEATLES FACT: there was a fifth beatle but they ate him in the womb

[parker @denton_draw5]

@kellanquinn8 thanks kellan 😁❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

[parker @denton_draw5]

marvel fan getting mugged:

*gulp* “he’s… right behind me isn’t he 😅😅”

[parker @denton_draw5]

@thegreattcatsby yeah you had to be there

[parker @denton_draw5]

omg the funniest thing just happened 😭😭

[parker @denton_draw5]

parker denton grand return to twitter

[parker @denton_draw5]

ok guys deleting this app and going off the grid for an indefinite amount of time bye

[parker @denton_draw5]

@leanmilker boing

[parker @denton_draw5]

hypothetical question:

you’re in the car with someone and their playlist shuffles to Cavetown. How are you escaping?

[parker @denton_draw5]

can you get dress coded for showing up to school covered only by a fine layer of ranch dressing

[parker @denton_draw5]

where my mind has been recently

[parker @denton_draw5]

@777heatwave mc bride

[parker @denton_draw5]

how did circus clowns survive the pandemic without being able to show their signature red nose

[parker @denton_draw5]

kanye west: makes music

a lot of people: listens