DerBigMan

The Undead King of Ayrshire Pirates. Death tae oathbreakers.

[Rachel Reeves @RachelReevesMP]

I will accept Nigel Farage’s request to be appointed Steward and Bailiff of the Manor of Northstead.

It is a farce and a desperate distraction, and the people of Clacton deserve better.

But if he wants to spend the summer arguing with a bin, I won't stop him.

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

The wife’s away down the ChatGPT Kool-Aid chute. “You should give ChatGPT your skills and a list of jobs and let it make a strategic plan for your job search!”

Aye, and I can phone the Nintendo Power helpline while I’m at it eh?

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

Today I’m tired. Tired of learning German, tired of hearing German. Tired tired tired.

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

Ich muss sagen: Das verrückte Wetter in letzter Zeit erinnert mich sehr an Schottland.

Natürlich mit 99,99 % weniger Regen…

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

We need a new car because the shitbox we’ve been driving is now unroadworthy.

I can’t wait to hear their ideas…

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

Mother in law and wife go to buy the MiL a new phone. They ask my advice and j say get a decent mid range Samsung and don’t do what they always do and buy the cheapest trash thing the salesman talks them into.

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

One hour later the first call. What do you know about this phone…?

Nobody knows about that phone. Almost all of the info online about it is people in the Philippines and Pakistan complaining about it.

But it’s cheap, and the man in the shop says…

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

Some days man you just want a chippy and a can of Irn Bru.

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

So we go on holiday to Balaton with the wife’s parents. Place we’ve rented has AC throughout and it’s 36°.

I say can we put the AC on it’s roasting and mad humid.

Them - Never mind that AC shite we’ll just open all the doors and windows and let the air in (and the mosquitoes)

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

@Malky44 Maybe I can get a three wheeled Ryanair bus 😅

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

Ryanair still cheerfully saying our flight to Edinburgh is on and going to land right in the middle of the worst storm in a decade. #StormÉowyn

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

@johngallacher Looks like they made it down on the second try. Meanwhile a flight from Krakow to Glasgow is heading for Manchester or Liverpool after three attempts. Passengers ain’t going to be happy!

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

“Original Alpine recipe Muesli”…

Contains Banana chips and is about 40% coconut shavings.

I mean it’s possible with climate change we might get bananas and coconuts growing in the Alps, but it seems unlikely.

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

Learning a language really isn’t easy. It’s hard work and some days it feels like you just keep falling deeper and deeper into a Mandelbrot set picture.

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

I’m struggling at times with how 1970s some Austrian corporate thinking can be.

Today’s example: the wife has a contract, but it’s just been revealed that flexible working arrangements are a completely different agreement between each employee and the company.

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

@jmddotfm It’s astonishing how grim it is when you see it from outside. Everything from the run down buildings, litter everywhere, cratered roads and the absolutely shite state of public services/transport.

[Quite Interesting @qikipedia]

In the 1920s, dentist Samuel Aykroyd regularly hosted séances. Samuel’s son, Maurice, was a Bell Telephone engineer who tried to contact the dead via radio. Maurice’s son, Peter, wrote the book 'A History of Ghosts. Peter's son is Dan Aykroyd, writer and star of Ghostbusters.

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

I mean look at this. Crowded as fuck trying to pretend this lake is part of the French riviera.

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

Lying about by lakes, on beaches or by pools.

Wife loves it.

I’ve tried to like it, but it’s boring a fuck and worse with trying to corral two small boys.

Honestly I’d rather shower in Satan’s pish, but every week in the summer she’s trying to convince me how great it is…

[DerBigMan @derbigman]

@jmddotfm Aye that and the madlad that ran PC CD ROMS on Old Dumbarton Road.