realizing I am mourning a person from my my past and deeply rooted in so many of my core memories is really the toughest thing to grasp. reminiscing over one direction will never be the same and 13 y/o me is completely devastated, broken, and numb
man. it feels so weird being in your 20s mourning a celebrity who you once grew up with. shaped your teenage hood and you made life long friends out of. at the same time not excusing who he became but also trying to grieve who he once was.
that voice note is saying he passed out then they brought him back to his room and he started to get violent and like crashing the room and the he threw himself off the balcony