Des Gurnam

Formerly known as Nigella and The Straw & Packet
Now known as Des, the Dance Equipment Specialist's Specialist

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

Your invitation starts here:

https://t.co/b9epsw9ymT

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@linmeitalks inconclusive gonna need more evidence

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@annie6sn hi, sex worker here, we do it for the sex

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

fuck, pls stop messaging me on telegram

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@alrightfans your birds got a map of every open prison tattoed incase she needs to break out

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@AdemM154563277 @samueld9043gw my huracan lp640-4 and lp610-4 both had volkswagen parts

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@bifrosty2k @ShitpostGate for the losers (me) who think 4wd will save them in the wet with a rear mounted engine

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@alrightfans Your bird calls them chips

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@mmue_pungmu @ShiliChoke @JapanEmb_Israel yes. they giving us the playstation 🙏

you merely gave us the porsche, and we wont forget stuttgart removing the 6 pot from the 718 for a 4 pot #warcrimes

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

fond memories of Dolly Parton whilst I enjoy this scenic bump at The Chandos - Trafalgar Sq

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@bulkbiker @StocksandDares i didnt even check ur bio but u cant douche a whopping great turd can you graham

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@bulkbiker @StocksandDares no im verbal top

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@tatedavies @StocksandDares how am i the dickhead in this

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@bulkbiker @StocksandDares especially if you take it up the rear gossage aye

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@tatedavies @StocksandDares why u asking me questions g look at the picture

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@MythoYookay is on deen similar to on prep ??

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@tqy1970 @LateefSaka probably not even dead and lying about that as well

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

@dianamahon @jayrayner1 @ftweekend get your tits out diana do win over the boys cmo

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

will be unresponsive on whatsapp while i go and have a quick turnout. cant text back with wet hands did last time to a brass on adult work about a "blow job from behind" and will not be risking another pegging

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

jokes i dont even like young girls tbf - but right now the mandem aint giving me Sarina Weigman in an M&S uniform either

Up your game or ill lock it off

[Des Gurnam @DesGurnam]

There seems to be a co-ordinated attack of online hate against me so I would like to clear up a few things.

I'm not a bot. I'm a human being. I have feelings and easily tempted by low cut tops and the threat of uckers, especially a suck from soft - RIP MM 🕊️.

Sometimes its nice just to be whispered in my ear "glad youre back" or "i miss your bogeys" instead everyone on the take take take saying "INVITE LETMEIN" and then following it up with "NUMBER LONDON".

I dont charge anyone using this service, but my hands are getting awfully worn out with selfish wankers lauding about like Charlie Big Potatoes gatekeeping bot access from the young impressional girls at work, who've been victim to being sold one dream and inhibiting me from selling them another.

So, please just tell them the link so I can pree the profile picture when they message. For security reasons I need to check if theyre a fit bird or not, and depending on the days catch, may call them at 3am whilst im wigging out, but bottle it, and instead of chatting them up I tell them to get off the line cos there is a train coming 🥴

For those who have submitted a bunch of numbers to me on Telegram - IOU - filled out a couple dry patches but more to go.

If you remeber the old CheesyLondon account, or made it this far and cracked a small pursed lipped smile reminicising about The Straw & Packet - then making it this far is evidence youre in the right place.

First Review: KittyHawk, rooftop bar overlooking Trafalgar Sq, individual toilets with floor to ceiling doors.

Why to visit: perfect place to nonce on birds. Table adjacent to me is a girl whos got engaged and asking her pals shes invited out to lunch to be bridesmaids, now theyre comparing flat tummies and largest dress size at the waist is 24" so based on my research, no fat chicks.

Des's Top Tip: If you're gonna wear a shirt get your mum to iron it