QuadDeuce

I like kittens and bunnies

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@memgrizz my friend Patrick is the biggest Grizzlies fan I know. When trying to start a family, he made his wife wear a Zach Randolph jersey because it would make him climax. Patrick also works in finance and uses the Chandler Parsons contract as a case study of what not to do

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@EddieHoweX my friend Steve is a huge Spurs fan. As a thank you for beating the Hammers today, he’d like to lick the wrinkles smooth on your chocolate starfish. Steve is located in the Eastern Time Zone (gross, I know!) but he’s willing to travel. Many happy returns!

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@SpursOfficial my friend @stevepattiCMO is a huge Spurs fan. I once watched @StevePatti violate a popcorn machine. I don’t think he got all 3 inches in but it was still pretty hot. I'll make love to you like you want me to. #SoSpursy #RelegationBattle

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@KentuckyMBB my fried @GregDarnell is a huge fan of Big Blue. One time @_GregDarnell watched me crank my hog. I wanted him to join me but @GDARNELL1002 wouldn’t take off his Antoine Walker jersey. It was hot but could have been better #UK2K #CyberToine #JuicyHog

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@MeghanChayka when sucking Keith Pelley’s dick to get your failure of a brother a job, did you pay attention to his balls? Maybe John will only get suspended for 6 months this time for violating league rules #sham #liar #salesman #bitchasshoe

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@MidtownMadPod Where’s the press box?

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@CardiffCityFC I miss your side playing in the @premierleague. My friend Steph is from Cardiff. I haven’t given him a proper wank in years. One time I slathered him in @daddie_sauce and let my tongue dart in that chocolate starfish. Your owner looks like a Bond villain.

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@LFC my friend Patrick is a huge fan. I think he’s pretty cute but he doesn’t know I’m keen on him. How do I tell him I want to pour @officialhpsauce all over his boy canal and let my tongue dart like a hummingbird?

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@Pattiboy13 @Dominos_UK @Dominos_UK I can’t tell what’s worse, being a Tottenham fan or thinking your pizza is actually good

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@SaintLouisMBB

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@_XoxoKeeks yo Keke, is Rimmer your real last name or is it a nickname because it’s something you like to do? Asking for a friend. #rimjob #rimmerrimmerchickendinner #rustytrombone

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@Fazolis what are your thoughts on this? Spurs gonna Spurs!

[Domino's Pizza UK @Dominos_UK]

introducing our new dessert: The Spurs Crumble

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@TheRock A 4-6 team made the XFL playoffs and the @XFLBattlehawks missed out on like the 5th tie breaker. Bullshit! #tastedbyTorn #kakaw

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@RBA_app He made my dick hard

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@590TheFan what’s up you filthy boy pigs? You say that pork steak is a little dry? You say you could use a little more flavor? Why don’t you take that meat to the bathroom and let some helmet nacho dumb add some much needed flavor #seasonalveg

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@bigten hey Big Ten, pretty pretty pretty good night for the Conference. #SEC #SEC #SEC #TastemeBob

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@GDARNELL1002 are you also a Kentucky fan? Go Big Blue! I once had blue balls from my roommate Greg. He had the prettiest pooper this side of the Mississippi River. I miss Greg and the eye fucks we would trade in Dr. Jones’ class. I’m rock hard right now

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@Julie_Patti_ what’s up Jules? Let me holla at you for a minute. Can I get them digits? Can I get some seductive pictures? I respect you as an individual. You have a beautiful spirit

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@OhioStateFB O-H-My Hole!

[QuadDeuce @deuce_quad]

@BJC_HealthCare you have the cutest employee ever working for you. I thought we were going to bone in Nashville one time. He wanted to bone Paris instead. Nashville sucks. I wish he sucked me. Predators do a stupid finger thing for power plays. That’s so dumb. #anal