Devan DiMatteo

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

do anyone else’s smoke detectors go off for no reason? no, just me?

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

the fake/pre-recorded crowd cheering during baseball games now is so odd, like we all know it is silent there cause those cardboard cutouts aren’t cheering lol

[emily fales @emilyannfales]

boys don’t mature. they just graduate from xbox to golf.

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

had a dream last night that i forgot to do my homework...been out of school for 4 years 😭😂

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

who knew that in 2020 face masks would become a fashion statement and going to the grocery store would be such an adventure?

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

@_hannahbananza my neighbor complained about how the rainwater from my yard runs into theirs, i’m like yeah there’s a slope and your land sits lower that’s how gravity works lol

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

a group of high school boys whistled at me and said hey girlfriend! i ignored them but hey i guess i still got it 😂😂

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

my life story in a tweet:
your name is Devan right?
yes
my brothers name is Devin
yeah of course it is

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

why do green gushers have orange juice on the inside??

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

@GalGadot #WW84 #CCXP Wonder Woman forever

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

the tree is up and the house smells like christmas 🎄

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

the way to find motivation for putting laundry away is by turning it into a spontaneous dance party 💃🏻

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

@chels_umberger my face is dry and itchy lol

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

found out the hard way that i’m allergic to paint, and my house still has so far to go 🙄

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

lost my voice last night as requested 😄 amazing concert last night @wethreemusic

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

how am i supposed to wait for the next season of manifest, i need it now!

[Devan DiMatteo @devand07]

i will never get tired of this show 😂

[Impractical Jokers @JokersTBS]

Please remain seated until your name is called. Thank you, and no laughing!! #ImpracticalJokers