Devin Emke

i often give chase

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

we now have a new unit of time, shorter than a single "Scaramucci", shorter than a "Liz Truss lettuce" behold: the "Zacharia" #ClownShow

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

I googled Sushi Glory Hole and quickly learned that search term needs to be in quotes #CantUnsee #SNLaudio

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

the world has but a finite number of billionaires, and yet, 2 of them are in the #USopen women's quarterfinals #MuchLessThanOnePercent

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

Fuck Around (with Stormy) ... and Find Out #LockHimUp

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

@concordridgemag @concordridgemag thanks for the props #SubmissionManager

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

@chrisbrowne ...this all sounds totally unnecessary #MLBDadJokes

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

@chrisbrowne @chrisbrowne is the ALCS game 7 tomorrow night necessary? the schedule has an asterisk (* if necessary)

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

@Ed_Raso what about @PriscillaOnTV ???

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

boy i picked the absolute worst time to quit my job in the TV industry to start building cars #SummerOfStrikes

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

all heroes wear capes, all of the time, no exceptions #WeWereWrong

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

finally, my perennial (vowel rich) opening word works:

Wordle 802 1/6

🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

water water everywhere, and all of it potable #MisQuote

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

I am disappointed that justice Amy Coney Barrett is not living up to her name…meaning I thought she would cone shaped. #SCOTUS

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

After much dithering, the child and I finally sat down and watched the most notorious horror film ever made: The Human Centipede (2009).

it’s a pretty mediocre movie. However, I can say definitively that it is the “Citizen Kane” of mouth-to-anus surgery films. #ShockHorror

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

@Ed_Raso #Chromatic

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

@hodgman @jonathancoulton @sachsmo @Darinstrauss @dnstewart67 @brettmartin #ThursdayPoker fold it up?

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

shirted Nuno? that works for me. #SuperBowl2023

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

you’ll have to take my gas stove from my cold dead fingers…as i will have succumbed to prolonged nitrogen oxide poisoning #StoveTopWisdom

[Devin Emke @devinemke]

is Tom Brady finally retiring “for good” or “for evil”? #AskingForAFriend