devken

I'm most likely @ Dunkin

[devken @devon_kennedyxo]

🙏❤️😇

[gaz @gazpachomachine]

i once got bottomless mimosas and when the check came i found out this place did not in fact do bottomless mimosas

[alexa @alexadoingstuff]

i’ll be four drinks in in a new city like “I’m moving here”

[Khary Penebaker @kharyp]

Women would like a word…

[trish @ultragloss]

i was not made for a 9-5 i was made to get wine drunk on a picnic blanket in the park

[whats wrong with a Bob? @tweetsbybob_]

Me at a restaurant acting like I didn’t google the menu 4 days ago

[~ @viagrafaII]

nobody:
me to me: fuck i’m funny

[Ashley Tisdale @ashleytisdale]

Haha

[eat soup @jasminericegirl]

venmo a woman $500 today

[Ben @benhasthoughts]

Hardest jobs in the universe:

1: Brain surgeon
2: Aerospace engineer
3: Teaching someone to play euchre for the first time

[Dan Price @DanPriceSeattle]

"Europeans live longer because of olive oil, red wine and nuts"

Also they can go to the doctor any time they want and not go bankrupt

[Julia Salazar (@juliasalazar on bluesky) @JuliaSalazar__]

Imagine having a Harvard Law degree and thinking that the Paris Climate Agreement is actually about Paris

[angela @angeOdinsdottir]

how the vaccine rollout in the United States is currently going

[abby @outoflemonjuice]

if adults can still be employed after storming the capitol building i can probably get a job with a nose ring

[Alp @alplicable]

Imagine wearing a face mask that says "Censored" while having the microphone in the literal US Capitol....

[Terra 🕷️ @BR0WNSGA]

It’s harder to get in a Trader Joe’s during a pandemic than it is the capitol

[billy eichner @billyeichner]

No matter what happens tonight, I just want Mitch McConnell to know that I hate him. ❤️

[Rager @RagenAshes]

Message:

[Dylan Hafer @thedylanhafer]

this could be all of us if we had $2000 stimulus checks

[Maybe P @_tavvs]

I just wanna rent a cabin with a hot tub for like four days in the mountains with wine and great views