dev ☀️

cbc softball alumna // God knew i would be too powerful if i could tolerate milk

[dev ☀️ @devon_parsons4]

whatchu know about me

[𝔇𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔲𝔰 𝔈𝔤𝔤 @castingahex]

you can just say "okay" when someone tells you to do something and not do it. i learned that from men

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

Males think they're brave enough to fight a gorilla but in reality they’re not even brave enough to tell their friend to stop making women uncomfortable.

[popular loner🚶🏼‍♀️🤷‍♀️ @milkyy_tweets]

I’m a straight woman and I’m jealous of Andy Cohen. i was under the impression we all kind of unanimously agreed that him and Dua Lipa have the best lives

[bilatinman kio @kzzrttt]

you accidentally swipe into that shop tab on tiktok and it be tryna holding you hostage. unhand me you bedazzled temu

[Janel Comeau 🍁 @VeryBadLlama]

I love when documentaries bring absurdly overqualified experts on to give very basic information, like “hi I’m a double-certified forensic psychologist and neuropathologist and I spent 20 years in the FBI; when someone kills someone else on purpose, we call that ‘murder’”

[𝔽𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕒. ‎ᥫ᭡ @foreverdeb_]

‘Thinking my singleness is ever a man’s decision is where you fucked up’ is such a real ass statement because do men really think it’s entirely up to them ??

[Dr. Alex Zawacki @achillghost]

We did that, it was Slenderman, and two children almost immediately tried offering it a human sacrifice

[AJ @ajdeluxe_]

"He better not kill her" - me watching a show called 'my husband who killed me'

[trash jones @jzux]

i’m actually stealing AI’s job (wasting resources and making up stupid shit)

[Jalen “Millertime” Coker @JcokeBurner]

Dude beside me at the restaurant just told his wife that he cheated on her and she is crying loudly, over at my table it’s miller time though. #millertime

[✩⋆｡°kronk⋆｡°✩ @krrronk]

foundational text

[blanc @dqveed]

notice how the bear realized she wasn't interested and left her alone without calling her an ugly bitch

[Nick Maraldo @nickmaraldo]

He's been waiting a long time for a hit on Corncob TV

[We Assess and Draw Cats 🐾 @WeAssessCats]

When you figure out the system

[maddie @madsssagascar]

if someone ran a marathon and someone else drove 26 miles i wouldnt congratulate the driver just because he ended up at the destination

[Alyssa 🌻 @alyssaleann]

Overheard a couple quietly bickering in Target. The woman goes, “Jason, I don’t have time for your shenanigans right now,” and I glanced over to see that Jason was wearing a T-shirt that said “they hate to see a silly goose winning” 🪿

[dash @thedigitaldash_]

this has me fucking crying man this is so true