d

welcome

[d @dezipepperdine]

my back hurts carrying the weight of knowing that I will be the milf of my high school reunion in 10 years.

[d @dezipepperdine]

i wish i had mental stability but all i got is a fat ass

[d @dezipepperdine]

coffee isn’t enough today. i need to be struck by lightning.

[d @dezipepperdine]

taking my dad to suicide boys in october. im a great fucking daughter

[d @dezipepperdine]

Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t get my cats a cat. Go on.

[d @dezipepperdine]

this is your sign to go through his tiktok following.

[d @dezipepperdine]

confession: sometimes i turn on that weird Coraline end credits song when im driving because it overpowers my intrusive thoughts.

[d @dezipepperdine]

you gmfu if you think im gonna “follow” you on snapchat 💀

[d @dezipepperdine]

i cant stand you

[d @dezipepperdine]

i still put ice cubes in my soup to cool it down

[d @dezipepperdine]

bro i just got poked on facebook. someone tell me this isn’t a thing still???

[d @dezipepperdine]

also currently binging the seven deadly sins???

[d @dezipepperdine]

not all new couples getting their names tattooed on each other 🥴 y is this a thing???

[d @dezipepperdine]

might fuck around and rewatch death note even though I pretended like I didn’t like it

[d @dezipepperdine]

tik tok couples = ick

[d @dezipepperdine]

publicly admitting that i am a real estate agent who cannot do basic math without a calculator. what r u gonna do ab it?

[sai @kuhmpkt]

i know damn well snooping gonna hurt my feelings but i still do it.

[d @dezipepperdine]

looks like ill be treating myself to deviled eggs today. if you don’t like them u can kindly suck it.

[d @dezipepperdine]

sometimes i get the urge to send peoples tweets to their manager. i would never actually do it but it gives me a solid 20 seconds of vicious joy

[d @dezipepperdine]

i hope u wake up on the wrong side of the bed today asshole

[d @dezipepperdine]

wtf is the presidents salary? is it even a salary? is he paid monthly? what the fuck is his pay schedule?