Jessi

♒️♊️♌️ Vedic astrology ☀️🌙, massage therapy 💆🏼‍♀️& energy healing 🔮💫

[Jessi @dhanisthavenus]

This "Enjoy Life" bubble bath isn't working.

[Carl Regolino @Carl_Regolino]

That’s crazy they arrested someone for the Idaho murders and it’s none of the people Tiktok sleuths spent 2 months accusing and posting about. Maybe just let investigators do their job and not accuse people of quadruple murder bc you “just feel it”

[JAXIE @jaxajueny]

People w quite literally one foot in the grave should not be writing or overturning any laws

[Zartana @Zartana__]

The houses that mold your experience: 1,5,9

Houses that make you practical: 2,6,10

Houses that teach you how to relate: 3,7,11

Houses that teach you how to let go: 4,8,12

[Matt Rife @MattRifebg]

Juicy j was like 40 making the best college music we’ve ever seen

[NurseBrianRN @rn_murse]

Yes, I have a swimmer's body....nobody tell the cops shit!

[jeff 🙂 @noxheav3n]

i do like the emo music when the guy cant sing a little bit

[Annie the Nanny @AnnietheNanny1]

You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf, but have you heard of pulling out into traffic and not going slower than fucking dial up internet?

[michaela okland @MichaelaOkla]

My toxic trait is that I’m literally convinced I could be the President if I read like 4 books

[Tony P. @Tbone7219]

I was born with a Baskin-Robbins pink sample spoon in my mouth.

[Sarah B. Hartshorne @sarahhartshorne]

$40 a day, no residuals, and we had to pay for food.

[bobby wasabi @bobbyteriyaki]

cried for exactly 4 minutes and 15 seconds while my ramen was in the microwave

[prance @bocxtop]

how trash were criminals in the 1800s to ever get caught, u could do double murder, grow a beard then move to the next town over and live peacefully forever

[James @CaucasianJames]

forgot to buy paper towels at the grocery store. guess i’ll just go back. this is fucking humiliating

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

I don’t know who decided restaurants would serve bread before meals but I would like to find that person and give them a big sloppy kiss on the mouth

[Adam @adamgreattweet]

paleontologist: we need to date fossils

pete davidson: i’ve got this

[dan the rock yang @realDANYANG]

wrote this down on acid

[Niki @nikitonsky]

We’ve come full circle

[puff @rishipuff]

abolish the five day work week please i need to do my dishes