V. Diabtribe

Husband, Father, Futurist and Diabetic Voice

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I left Alabama. I am in Georgia now.

At 3 a.m. I saw a yellow sign glowing beside the highway.

Waffle House.

I went in. The parking lot was full. At 3 a.m.

I asked the waitress when they close.

She looked at me the way you look at a child who has asked when gravity ends.

She said, "We don't close, baby."

Two things happened in that sentence.

One: I learned Waffle House has never closed. Not at night. Not on Christmas. Not during hurricanes.

Two: she called me "baby."

I am a grown man. I have a mortgage. It repaired something in me I did not know was broken.

I ordered hash browns.

She said, "Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced, peppered, capped, or topped?"

I did not understand a single word in that sentence.

I said, "Yes."

She nodded and wrote it down. Apparently that was a correct answer.

Then I learned something, and I need you to know I did not invent this.

The United States government measures the strength of hurricanes by whether the Waffle House is open.

Open: the storm is fine.

Limited menu: the storm is serious.

Closed: evacuate. It is over.

This is called the Waffle House Index. FEMA uses it. FEMA. The disaster agency.

Japan built earthquake satellites. America watches a diner.

Both systems work.

At 3 a.m., the Waffle House contained: two truck drivers. A nurse still in scrubs. Four teenagers in prom clothes. One man who had clearly made several mistakes that evening. And one Japanese man with a notebook.

Nobody asked anybody why they were there.

At Waffle House, being there is the answer.

Then a man at the counter noticed my Alabama shirt. It was a gift. Long story.

He did not speak. He pointed at the shirt and shook his head slowly, the way you correct someone in church.

Then he said, quietly: "Go Dawgs."

I panicked and used the only word I own.

"Roll Tide."

Every fork in the building stopped.

The cook looked up from the eggs.

The waitress said, "Baby, no."

I understand now. Every state here has its own word. My word is from one state ago.

The man bought my waffle anyway.

He said, and I am quoting him exactly: "You didn't know. Bless your heart."

I have been told that phrase has two meanings.

I believe I received the gentle one.

I believe.

[V. Diabtribe @diabtribe]

Protip, if you must do drive thru food, like me check your receipt. Got a large coke instead of a lg coke zero. Not good. #diabetes

[The New York Times @nytimes]

Over 150 Republican leaders don't support Donald Trump. Here's when they reached their breaking point. https://t.co/Jjk8Sf2WQb

[Beyond Type 1 @BeyondType1]

On this day 95 years ago (1921) Banting + Best successfully isolated #Insulin for the first time! #KnowledgeDrop

[Neil deGrasse Tyson @neiltyson]

Will enjoy colorful fireworks tonight? Thank Aluminum Barium Calcium Chlorine Copper Iron Nitrogen Oxygen Sodium & Strontium.

[Balogun Ojetade @Baba_Balogun]

Just 5 DAYS away! https://t.co/Yls7MngTOJ #SOBSFCon #SOBSFCon2016 #TheSOBSF #Afrofuturism #BlackGirlMagic #BuyBlack

[Balogun Ojetade @Baba_Balogun]

Famed comic book artist @AfuaRichardson joins us at #SOBSFCon! #Afrofuturism #DiverseSFF #Marvel #DCComics #Atlanta

[Ty Francis MBE @tyfrancis]

Love this! "They should put Prince on the $20 bill and call it $19.99. It's "The bill formerly known as a twenty."

[V. Diabtribe @diabtribe]

BBC News - Final piece of type 1 diabetes puzzle solved https://t.co/MaPFLg7pyY

[V. Diabtribe @diabtribe]

NYT Blog: Hope for Reversing Type 2 Diabetes https://t.co/jz3dXgDz8i via @nytimeswell

[Bill Gates @BillGates]

It’s amazing how much more we spend on gasoline than on clean energy research. I did the math to figure it out...
https://t.co/XK3bi9htfm

[DiabetesMine @DiabetesMine]

DTech-Spectations 2016. #Afrezza @dario @MDT_Diabetes @dexcom @TandemDiabetes + More. https://t.co/GJLsry6TxZ

[V. Diabtribe @diabtribe]

When non-diabetics try to pawn off their unprocessed sugar desserts on you. “It’s good for you!” #gtfoh #diabetes #sweetlife

[V. Diabtribe @diabtribe]

Interesting. Too many A1Cs? https://t.co/x6EV4vncSd

[V. Diabtribe @diabtribe]

SO.. our office guy bought 2 boxes of my weakness strawberry nutrigrain bars. The #diabetic in me wants to beat him senseless

[V. Diabtribe @diabtribe]

As sure as the sun shall rise in the east. Someday, the A1c *will* betray you #diab

[Animation Magazine @animag]

Mexican Animation Showcase in LA Aug. 30... http://t.co/XZxdE6Jb2f

[V. Diabtribe @diabtribe]

Google Reveals Gigantic Ambitions To Fight Cancer, Diabetes, Parkinson's, Heart Problems: http://t.co/30EGOGinhc