Paul Fung

silently mouthed

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

this egg is a real “curate’s egg”

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

#Napoleon

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

This took me way too long to make.

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

Anyway, this is my last tweet.

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

https://t.co/AIi2dZhJvm

[Wonka Movie @WonkaMovie]

Only in theaters December 15. #WonkaMovie

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

Didn’t even watch the trailer, but…

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

My favourite film music is probably the Threads Megamix.

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

Also https://t.co/P5Sgg7qbdI for stale new content.

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

Check me out @[email protected] for fresh new content. 🚠

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

@arealmattgreene Saw this (and the others in the "series") recently, and loved it!

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

Hard to believe there was a famous person called Rudolph Valentino. Two holiday names.

That's like being called... Easterbunny Veteran's Day.

Wild.

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

COP: I see... And can anyone corn that?

SUSPECT: I'm sorry - what?

COP: Can anyone *corn* that?

SUSPECT: I don't understand.

COP: Corn. Corn on the cob. Corn on the corrob.

SUSPECT:

COP: Corroborate.

SUSPECT: I'm still n-

COP: CAN ANYONE CORN THAT?

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

@ScrewItComics @PunchDrunkKing But the background changes slightly!

(I agree)

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

And scorpions.

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

I think my greatest fear is that the barber will, as a joke, ask me if I'm happy with my haircut when its only half finished, and I'll say yes.

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

I call my phone "Old Bull" because it charges so slowly.

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

It's important to make a distinction between:
a) dreamt tweets
(tweets I specifically composed AS TWEETS in the dream)
b) tweets about dreams
(where I just tweet weird stuff I dreamt)
The first category is good, original, impressive, amusing
The second is boring, indulgent, dull

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

Last night's dreamt tweet:

The main way in which I differ from Billy Joel is that I DO like watching anybody make the same mistakes I made.

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

I dreamt a couple of tweets last night. Not up there with the best dream tweets. But tweetable? Absolutely.
(thread)

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

Last night’s dreamt tweet:

ant man has lang covid

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

@arealmattgreene You can count on my support.

[Paul Fung @diamondbadger]

@DevonDilly I remember it well! A lot of good players in that team.