Diaz

Everything sunny all the time always

[Diaz @diazas0]

My dad watching S1/E1 of Succession: “this guy disgusts me. He is so not the successor.”

[2joser2loser @joserloser]

me: I’m going to disconnect completely today

also me:

[Diaz @diazas0]

Every show wishes it could be American Ninja Warrior I said what I said

[Diaz @diazas0]

You’re telling me I’m never again allowed to lay in bed with TV mid morning for the rest of my life? Is that what you’re saying?

[Diaz @diazas0]

Never have a felt my motherhood harder than when I just told my husband I shouldn’t have even come on this child free trip bc the TVs in our hotel don’t work

[Diaz @diazas0]

The few times I’ve upgraded to first class I’m disappointed at how low the bar is for comfort on airplanes. Like every seat should be first class if all first class is your own armrest. Be so for real.

[Diaz @diazas0]

Wait the stepdad publix commercial… Emmy now

[Diaz @diazas0]

Zach Braff chill on the Botox I’m begging

[Diaz @diazas0]

Not to pit women against each other but Taylor take fucking NOTES!!!!!!!

[Diaz @diazas0]

The energy I have brought to my workplace. Now if anyone accidentally doesn’t schedule send an email after work hours they apologize to me like they just got caught calling me a slur.

[trash jones @jzux]

oh you’re work-emailing me after 5pm? nice try bozo. see you in the morning

[Marcelo Gooch Jr. @marcelogoochjr]

sorry to hear about your moms brewery

[Diaz @diazas0]

February gurlies: let’s unionize and class action sue companies that offer coupons only during your birth month bc our month is shorter

[Diaz @diazas0]

The tortured… poets… department. Ok anyways.

[Diaz @diazas0]

Here to weigh in: I dislike everything that had anything to do with T****r S***t at last nights award show. Fit. Hair. Glam. Choice to announce an album. The album title. The reactions. The Celine Dion. None of it was good for the fans who have full frontal lobe function.

[Diaz @diazas0]

Ordered a new drink at Starbucks not realizing it was SEVEN DOLLARS AND FORTY FIVE CENTS and regret to inform it is divine :( :(

[hunter harris @hunteryharris]

get a GRIP

[Diaz @diazas0]

Like bitch shut up just tell me the temperature

[Diaz @diazas0]

Someone explain to me why the weather channel acts like a spam pop up constantly

[Diaz @diazas0]

I do not trust a woman who brought an underwire bra on survivor