Kate Henderson

Carefully managed mischief dressed up and disguised to look just like you.

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

@TeamPelosi I think you may have confused the word Republicans with yourself? Cause I'm pretty sure that's what you did by passing Obamacare.

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

So angry eating is a thing and I just did it...I'm not ashamed.

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

Love it, hate it, whatever, waking your kids up with the shark song is THE BEST. They either get our of bed happy to sing it or get out of bed faster hoping you'll turn it off #MondayMood #WinWin

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

When you've been trying for an hour to get a satisfying yawn and you finally get one #winning

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

@FresnoBee Mmhmm now it sounds even better for lunch than it did 5 minutes ago!

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

@FoxNews @JoeBiden That explains so much!

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

Mommy attitude is much different than the attitude your child gives you. It's the kind of attitude that says she sees what your doing and is very disappointed in you...even when it's directed at an adult...Doctor...your child's primary physician...whatever...

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

Alright, I can't hold it in any longer - all for big booties and everything (I'm guilty of a natural one) but am I the only one who thinks Nikki Minaj's ass looks like the one toddler in daycare the care workers don't want to change so they run around with a full diaper too long?

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

Visited Wal-mart this morning and now I'm pretty sure if something happened to me, they'd be able to trace me wherever I went. The store, the parking, the parking lot, my car, the garage, and now my home all smell like the lavender fabuloso I almost bought and put back

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

To the lady at the grocery store this morning: I may be trying to get right with Jesus with guarding my mouth but that doesn't mean my face won't still make faces...

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

*looking at my alarm after a VERY late date night with two lovely gentlemen (my husband and Jack Daniels)
Alarm: you will be awoken abruptly in 3 hrs and 36 min at the ungodly hour you set for exercise
Me: You don't own me
Alarm: Your day will be chaos
Me: I live for chaos

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

*overheard conversation while outside the other day*
4yo - 'what's wrong with the bug, daddy?'
Hub - 'mommy made it sick'
4yo - (sympathetic) awww *stares for a second, contemplatively*
*stomps bug and runs away*

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

You either take it and become the victim or you take it, swallow it, and use it as fuel to fly yourself to the moon.

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

I used to really like Evangeline Lily. She seems to really have it all: looks, brains,& acting ability. Now I just think her presence in a film is an ill omen for failure. #sheruinedthehobbitforme #watchoutantman

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

A haiku for today:
Carbs, Carbs, Carbs, Carbs, Yum
Carbs, Carbs, Carbs, CARBS, CARBS, CARBS,CARBS!
And now I hate myself.

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

Am I the only one who gets annoyed at the hashtag #myboyfriend/husbandisbetterthanyours? Maybe for you. Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure most females wouldn't agree but hey, to each his own I guess.

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

It's just not picture day if I haven't tried on every single outfit I own and shaved every inch of my body for every outfit I own and realize I have nothing to wear....

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

When you sporadically see someone you haven't seen in 11 years and suddenly you're relieved you took the time to contour and highlight.

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

When the ghetto couple at the park at 7 in the morning immediately get up and walk away when they see you and your kids coming and give YOU the dirty look #wesawyou #yourenotsuspiciousatall #moreintimidatingthanithought

[Kate Henderson @dibbledibleduck]

Lord knows how my heart skips a beat every time I get to eat. #fattyontheinside