Dick Out of Context

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

Dick Out of Context is under new Management. More quotes coming soon! @LABasedComedian prepare for your Personal and Professional Reputation to be ruined.

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

My underwear turned into chafe-garments, into a chafe-machine

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

I'm searching for the most obscure sentences and sentence fragments to try to squeeze one drop of information from this stone that is the Internet, and I fuckin can't

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

I’ve killed everything I’ve ever tried to grow

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

Someone used their fist like a sledge hammer and flushed my toilet so hard that the handle broke off

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

I've had a rough day of being sensational and fabulous and inspiring and being inspired and loving beauty and loving life and acceptance and tolerance, but it's all hanging on by a thread

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

These e-celeb cocksuckers

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

What if you were having sex with your wife and then you opened your eyes and it's your dad? AHH! That's stressful

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

The important thing is that I wake up every day and congratulate myself for living by my principles

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

The apathy and the mediocreness that consumes everything and ruins it

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

The Internet's dead to me. I don't care about it anymore.

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

All this is victimization and shit. Sports got too boring for us. They finally combined sports with professional wrestling too much.

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

This is why the news is so hard, Sean. You print out a piece of paper, and these broads can’t keep it straight.

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

Look out for yourself, because the world is fucked! Nothing works!

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

I just came back from Burning Man. I spent half of that naked

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

I expected like 12-15 hours of her dicking around on her phone, playing Sudokus

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

I like doing bad things.

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

A woman pushed him out of a window and that's how he died. That's the only story I remember from the Bible because it's was so fuckin funny

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

My name’s Dick Masterson, I wrote a book called “Men Are Better Than Women,” perhaps you heard of it.

[Dick Out of Context @dickOOC]

Sorry I was late, I was doing – I was having sex practice… In the shower.