Dick Crimes

Hard-boiled Detective from the Bayou. I like my whiskey neat and my relationships messy.

Don't call me Richard.

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

The case I'll never forget started on a day I barely remember.

I woke up under the glare of a sputtering streetlight. My head throbbed and I smelled of cheap booze and cigars. Soon, the city sounds broke through the fog in my brain. Right. My new home city...

#intfic

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

A THREE-WAY TIE?

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

Getting involved in this case would be monumentally stupid, but my head hasn't been right for a while, so what did I have to lose? I looked at Tarot, then at his goons.

"Why do you need me? Don't these guys do it for you?"

Tweedles Dee and Dum...

#intfic #DickCrimes

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

...but there is more."

I waited for him to go on. It felt like days.

"You see," he continued at last, "I believe...

#intfic #DickCrimes #MaltedPenguin #Mystery

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

Monumentally stupid, huh? https://t.co/ftS4zCBGcn

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

Getting involved in this case would be monumentally stupid, but my head hasn't been right for a while, so what did I have to lose? I looked at Tarot, then at his goons.

"Why do you need me? Don't these guys do it for you?"

Tweedles Dee and Dum...

#intfic #DickCrimes

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

A shot! Then... silence.

The silence stretched on... and on. Seconds passed, but it felt like days.

Finally, Red said, "Wang! Watch where ya point that thing! Ya wanna kill us or what?"

"Gee, sorry, Red! It's got a mind of its own!"

"Well, put it away!"

#dickcrimes #intfic

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

"Neato," I repeated, incredulously.

"Oui."

"Alright...and?" I asked. Tarot looked at me as though I had asked for directions to my ass.

"And I am here to hire you," he drawled slowly.

I considered the man. Getting involved in this case would be...

#intfic #DickCrimes

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

#DickCrimes is back in the saddle. Or something.

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

...dress shops of Paris. Hardly a Parisian madame does not speak of Dick Crimes."

I said nothing, waiting for him to continue, which he did, eventually.

"Your penchant," he said the word in the French manner, all whispers and soft edges, "for discovery is, how you say, neato."

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

...a group of Frenchmen. I knew they were French, because they dripped ennui and spoke French.

"Ah, Monsieur Crimes," said one. He was slick, a diamond in one ear and a long cigarette on his lips that dipped when he spoke, "I've been waiting for you. I am...

#intfic #DickCrimes

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

The adventure continues, and the plot stiffens... https://t.co/XV0AXCfWWK

[Dick Crimes @dick_crimes]

I wandered for what seemed like months, but I finally found my way to Shenanigans. A dingy hole in the wall that always seemed to be packed with malcontents, even first thing in the morning. It smelled of cigarette smoke and anachronisms.

The bartender was...
#intfic #dickcrimes