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The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
Basically philosophers. Frequently hangry. Instagram:
New York, NY
Joined November 2019
446
Following
859
Followers
2.2K
Posts
Pinned Tweet
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
almost 6 years ago
adding ‘lmao’ so nobody thinks I’m actually being vulnerable
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
8 months ago
Time for him to get off the apps and onto the therapy telehealth platform
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
10 months ago
Moving to Denver is the man equivalent of cutting your hair after a breakup
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
over 2 years ago
There is nothing more demeaning than chasing a ping pong ball
Who to follow
Isaiah Lorenzo
@Flysaiah
New York Sit Down comic. I got tired of people telling me to stop working dumb jobs and make people laugh, so here I am, still working dumb jobs
Jonathan Ziegel
@JonnyZComedy
Eat. Sleep. Zoom. Repeat. I like long walks to the fridge.
Barstool U
@BarstoolU
The official college account of @barstoolsports
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
over 2 years ago
New fear unlocked: looking stupid on the jumbotron at a sports game
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
almost 3 years ago
I would be a horrible football player because someone would tackle me and I would apologize and ask if they were okay
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
almost 3 years ago
why is nobody talking about ‘girl fridge’ - 2-5 skincare items minimum - coffee - ‘treat’ drink of choice - leftovers from 4 days ago - carrots and hummus
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
almost 3 years ago
those of you who always lost ‘never have i ever’ in high school, how’s your mortgage husband and 2 kids
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
almost 3 years ago
“what do you want to be when you grow up?” emotionally stable
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
almost 3 years ago
aggressively defend you in public, “what the fuck were you thinking” in private
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
almost 3 years ago
*at the altar* him: I do! me: I do! But like nooooo pressure.
dickvanyikes
retweeted
Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources
@waDNR
about 3 years ago
To avoid straining your eyes at work, use the 20-20-20 rule: Every 20 minutes, go for a 20-minute hike and spend the next 20 years in the woods.
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
about 3 years ago
god: “Want to live through another major historical event?” me: “nah i’m good” god: “It was rhetorical question.”
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
about 3 years ago
list of things that are not for men: - water fountains - straws - shorts outside the gym - open toed shoes
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
about 3 years ago
*actively getting love bombed* me: finally someone who gets it 🥰
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
about 3 years ago
the only romance in my life is my Excel model
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
about 3 years ago
crying in the sauna bc nobody can tell if it’s sweat or tears
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
about 3 years ago
“what’s it like to date in NYC?”
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
about 3 years ago
not to be dramatic but if i’m not outside looking hot and shaking my tush immediately i might turn to dust
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
about 3 years ago
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom friends out there
The Dick Van Yikes Show
@dickvanyikes
about 3 years ago
“you’re allergic to something” yeah, your attitude
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