diego curiel

I am a comedian, writer and semi actor( I was once a stand in for a tree in my 3rd grade play)

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

Which one of you posted this of me? OMG!!! http://t.co/L6ACrOudO8

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

Which one of you posted this of me? OMG!! http://t.co/L6ACrOudO8

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

If I tweet at 88wpm will my tweets be sent back to the future!? #MartitoMcFly #Jacketvests #IloveDoc

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

“If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” #thingsScottPettersonShouldHaveSaid

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

@AnthonyKComedy Lol u did and u told me to txt it to him lol and then u texted him stuff too hella funny "he just responded fuck manteca"lol

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

@AnthonyKComedy Lol best qoute ever "we left DJ...he can afford a cab" lmao

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

With so much drama in the LBC it's hard being Snoop L-I-O-N.... It's just not the Same :/

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

@AnthonyKComedy That's what u get for romancing with a hipster with a stupid beard and loosing to me at chugging beer twice lol

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

I have a friend whose half Black and Native American....so when he dances he actually makes it rain!

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

I wish there were a Jewish chef on the cooking channel..everytime he'd stir the soup he'd say"oh ladle, ladle, ladle I made you out of clay"

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

I don't cry during sad movies because much like Rosa Parks "I Shall Not Be Moved"

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

This morning I woke up with a chip on my shoulder...luckily it was barbecue flavored

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

@AmandaBynes your ugly #irony #karma #doubletheirony #notallthat

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

There should be more real life rpg games like "joint custody 2" "paternity test 8" "recession scavenger: the quest for food"

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

Generation tech Aka the ME generation...If my generation had an occupation it would be an opera tenor "Me...me...me...me...meeee...me meeee"

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

I don't think women have biological clocks but more so biological hour glasses because a clock can be reset! #thehrglassisticking

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

Is it me or do penguins have the classiest birthday suits!?

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

@michaelrpatten "Karl Malone has them in a Jar i passed off to him, he Sky hooked them onto his mantel"
#vintageStocktontoMalonr

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

@michaelrpatten He'd be the best to smoke weed, because he'd never puff only pass #vintageStockton

[diego curiel @diegocuriel]

I was offered cocaine, but I can cant even cut transfats and carbs out of my life , I don't think coke is on my list of stuff to fuck with!