Diego Amorocho

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

When she follows you from her pet's insta #WhatDatMean

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

@NeebsOfficial Red was always math in my mind

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

I told the wandering adventurer to be careful when delving into dungeons, because of the imp locations

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

I just saw a girl's dating profile that said "(NO DRUGS) Accept alcohol". And I think that's beautiful

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

Save a horse, reverse a cowgirl, or whatever they say

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

They're calling it TDS, Trump Dialect Syndrome

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

I've been working on my stand-up material but unfortunately it's just me talking like Trump for 10 minutes

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

Idgaf what kid's show is popular when I have kids, they're watching SpongeBob

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

@NoMansSky Please fix the derelict freighter door bug 💔🥀

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

Has anyone put "Southern Comfort" on a pair of booty shorts? I feel like that would sell well

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

@NoMansSky What's the chance the bug with the derelict freighters gets fixed? The one where you break the goo on the doors but the door stays sealed? It's really been screwing over me and my buddy

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

Just found out that the PLARF entity responsible for their nuclear weapons is called Base 67

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

I know it's really millennial coded to use 😂 instead of 🤣 but do you actually turn your head sideways when you laugh??

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

I knew I was getting old when my ultimate fantasies started becoming things like "she gives me a massage and then we both get 8 hours of sleep"

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

I think if bugs made a religion I'd join it

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

It is nice that we dedicate an entire day each year to finding out how gullible people are

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

Thinking a barista likes you is even crazier than thinking the stripper does

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

Trump just didn't want to invite the women's hockey team because it was going to mess up his Heated Rivalry recreation

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

This guy's shirt at the gym says #unstoppable but I really thought it said #uncslop for a solid 10 seconds

[Diego Amorocho @diegoea]

Brunettes have had me in a chokehold this last year