Captain “Par Saver” Assface

Private Equity Partner

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

Imma bounce from the bv for a hot minute y’all. Classes start soon and I need to lock in while maintaining a full time job. Best of luck to you niggas and foids.

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@sallyownstheUSA I get it. Been considering leaving the bv myself

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@colletingbitchs Yes. Especially in the morning after I pick my nose. And my sneezes stink

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@texasdebater Need me a paypig to drain

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@Glennpastner A gift is legally urs. She can go shove one up her beer curtains and zip it

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@DonnyJenkins67 Working at bars as dude sucks anyway

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@ballhazin It wasn’t the dream you wanted, but the dream you needed

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@TMaxiiiii Just look up “Perez Hilton video” here on Twitter. Pretty wild shit

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

Perez Hilton video was quite interesting to dissect

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@TMaxiiiii Absolutely T-Max, the more the merrier!

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

Just fired our maid because she stepped in as I was beating my wife and kids after I downed a fifth of grey goose. Sorry Ramona, you’re not coming to the family vacation with us to the Hamptons this year, you’re fucking fired!!!

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@derek_dupont420 I agree with all except number 7. There’s really some dedicated skanky tatted up hippie armpit hair reppin whores that truly go to raves and drop cid for the love of the game

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@UnbiasedCFBfan @ballhazin

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@freddydanger69 Best song oat

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@BobbyBagsALot Don’t fucking disrespect goob ever again

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@derek_dupont420 Ofc I am. Bc I’m DailyGreene in the flesh. This is my burner.

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@MurrayHillGuy1 Her smile doesn’t seem authentic. Short term relationship

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@texasdebater

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@shabingleton Why don’t I ever get this lucky

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@shabingleton Make him pay first

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

@liljit1738 You win some, you lose some

[Captain “Par Saver” Assface @DipShitAssWipe]

Decided to roll some molly and take 4 honey packets during the family vacation in Thailand last night. Woke up to my dick being stuck in a Thai buddha statue and got robbed of $5000 from a lady boy in Bangkok.