Dirk David7

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

I am the Head of Product at Trump Mobile. There is no product. I have the best job in America.

590,000 people paid $100 each to preorder a gold phone that does not exist. That is $59 million. My KPI is deposit velocity. I have a whiteboard in my office that says DEPOSIT VELOCITY. There is nothing else on the whiteboard.

We announced the phone June 2025. Gold case. American flag on the back. "Made in the USA." Ship date: August. I moved it to November. Then December. Then Q1 2026. Then mid-March. Each time I sent 590,000 people an email that said "exciting update." The exciting update was that the phone still did not exist. In April I deleted the ship date from the website entirely. I got a standing ovation on the all-hands. That was our most successful product milestone.

The phone is a $499 gold Android. 50MP camera. 6.78-inch display. Fingerprint sensor. I have never held one. Nobody on earth has held one. We got the T1 certified for network compatibility in March. We celebrated like we'd shipped. We did not ship. We certified the concept of a phone. The network said: if this thing existed, it could connect. We called that a breakthrough.

On April 6th I updated the terms and conditions. "A preorder deposit does not guarantee that a Device will be produced or made available for purchase." Trump Mobile does not guarantee regulatory approval. Does not guarantee production. Does not guarantee delivery. Does not guarantee the phone will exist. The deposit is non-transferable and carries no independent cash value. I have the printout framed in my office next to the whiteboard. That is the only thing we have shipped on schedule. 

"Made in the USA" lasted three months. Became "American-proud design." Then "designed with American values in mind." We manufacture overseas. Final assembly of 10 components happens in Miami. We counted putting the flag sticker on the back as one of the 10. While 590,000 people wait for their gold phone, we are currently selling refurbished iPhones. Made in China. With a Trump logo on the box. For $47.45 a month on T-Mobile's network. We are reselling another company's network at a patriotic markup. The plan is called the 47 Plan. The 47 is the only original thing about it.

An intern asked me last month when we are going to build the phone. I promoted her to VP of Customer Expectations.

Senator Warren wrote the FTC in January. I am not worried. We will have launched the next product before they finish reading the letter. That is always the math. I know the math because I have been watching it evolve for years.

Trump University promised education. Delivered weekend seminars in hotel conference rooms. 5,000 students. Settled for $25 million. That was version 1.0. You had to rent the room. You had to print the binder. You had to hire the speaker. You had to settle. Three entire obligations.

$TRUMP memecoin. No education. No binder. No room. Peaked at $75. Now $2.80. Down 96%. 1 billion tokens minted. 80% went to the team. 45 wallets gained $1.2 billion on launch night while everyone else watched their screens. For every dollar insiders made, retail lost twenty. That was version 2.0. You did not have to build anything. You did not have to hire anyone. You just had to press mint. Two obligations eliminated.

$MELANIA. Same model. Launched 48 hours later on the same audience. Down 99%. 24 wallets bought $2.6 million worth exactly 2.5 minutes before the First Lady's announcement. One wallet turned $681,000 into $39 million in 24 hours. The team controls 92% of supply. Her launch crashed her husband's token by 50% in the same hour. That was version 2.1. A patch, not a release. You did not even need a new customer base. You could cannibalize the last one.

WLFI. World Liberty Financial. The President's crypto project. Took $500 million from 600,000 wallets. Tokens locked. Cannot sell. Cannot transfer. Cannot leave. Team holds 73% of supply and votes to unlock itself. The project's advisor borrowed $75 million on a lending platform he co-founded. Using investor tokens as collateral. On a protocol where the project is 82.7% of total value locked. Other depositors could not withdraw. The President's family takes 75 cents of every dollar. That was version 3.0. You did not have to deliver anything. You did not have to pretend anything would go up. You just had to lock the door and keep the key. One obligation remaining: the smart contract.

Trump Mobile is version 4.0.

I did not have to mint a token. Did not have to write a smart contract. Did not have to lock a single wallet. Did not have to build a lending platform or freeze a billionaire or rig a governance vote. I put a flag on a gold rectangle that does not exist, opened a deposit page, collected $59 million from 590,000 Americans, and then updated the terms to say the deposit does not guarantee the rectangle will ever be real.

The version history, in case you are keeping score:

1.0 — Had to rent a room. Had to settle.
2.0 — Had to mint. Didn't have to build.
2.1 — Didn't even need new customers.
3.0 — Didn't have to deliver. They couldn't leave.
4.0 — Didn't have to promise. They paid for the flag.

Each version removes one obligation. University had three. We are down to zero. My product roadmap is one slide. It says DEPOSITS.

Version 5.0 will not need the webpage.

The phone was never the product. The deposit was always the product. The flag was the conversion funnel. The name was the close. The terms update was the only deliverable. "Made in the USA" was the positioning until it wasn't and then "American values" was the positioning until that stops working and then we will find new words that mean nothing and those will work too because the words were never the product either.

I am the Head of Product at Trump Mobile. I have never made a phone. I have made $59 million. The product is the transaction. Delivery is a legacy feature from version 1.0 and we deprecated it three versions ago.

[BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ @mmpadellan]

This is the BEST, most hilarious breakdown I have seen of the absurd rationales I have heard trying to justify trump's idiotic war.

BRILLIANT! 👏👏👏

[Daniel Dale @ddale8]

Aides to all four other living US presidents tell CNN’s @Sam_Waldenberg and @jeffzeleny that they haven’t spoken to Trump about Iran. Trump claimed today that a former president endorsed the war by telling him “I wish I did what you did.” https://t.co/6OLSeTyUfY

[Dirk David7 @DirkDavid7]

@7Veritas4 Yeah, a million dead Americans in his first term as well. What a shitshow. Someone please release the Epstein files.

[Dirk David7 @DirkDavid7]

@RepMikeLevin A feeling based on facts is the 2026 version of alternative facts.

[Dirk David7 @DirkDavid7]

@dpakman There's more water coming out of taps now.

[Dirk David7 @DirkDavid7]

He's going to flatten the Kennedy centre.

[Barbara Comstock @BarbaraComstock]

Trump puts his name on it and kills the Kennedy Center. Instead of allowing the Center to return to its arts mission, he’d rather close it than admit his vanity project was rejected by the American people. More Trump failure and @RichardGrenell a disgrace too. If it’s closed, hope no $$$ for him and his team. How does the Republican Congress allow one man destroy so many institutions? And what a disgrace this so called Trump “Board” is.

[AnatolijUkraine @AnatoliUkraine]

This is what happens when a man mistakes the world for a Monopoly board.
He doesn’t see allies. He sees properties.

He doesn’t threaten because he has a plan.
He threatens because it makes him feel tall.

And the real scam isn’t the fantasy of “taking” something.
It’s the follow-up: pay me, praise me, or I’ll burn the alliance that keeps you safe.

NATO isn’t a coupon. It’s the reason small countries can sleep at night.
Treating it like a tantrum lever is how you invite the wolves to dinner.

So who’s going to stop the “one way or the other” guy—before he learns the world pushes back… one way or the other?

[Dirk David7 @DirkDavid7]

@RepDanGoldman Fucking do something then.

[Dirk David7 @DirkDavid7]

Omg. What a disgraceful human being.

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

🚨BREAKING: Sarah Beckstrom, 20, one of the National Guard members who was shot yesterday, has died.

Donald Trump is now showing us pictures of Afghanistan in 2021 rather than Sarah's picture.

But we'll quickly summarize the facts:

He’s not currently mourning her precious life for the same reason he sent the National Guard there in the first place: it's all about himself.

Rahmanullah Lakanwal served in Afghanistan’s counterterrorism NDS-03 unit that was operated by the CIA with direct US intelligence and military support.

Lakanwal arrived in the US on Sep. 8, 2021, as part of Operation "Allies Welcome" to protect vulnerable Afghans following the US withdrawal.

He applied for asylum during the Biden administration, but the application was approved under the TRUMP ADMINISTRATION after going through additional vetting by the CIA.

No one can deny this woman would still be alive if he wasn’t President.

This is on HIM.

[Dirk David7 @DirkDavid7]

Omg. Wtf.

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

Trump: "They saw a lot of unbelievable activity at the McDonald's next to the base where they take off. The McDonald's was doing -- right? -- 5 times, they were going crazy. So they say 'there's something going on over there.' The biggest activity that McDonald's had ever had. And it was a nice story."

[Ted Lieu @tedlieu]

To be fair, Trump this year is focused on building his Epstein ballroom, redecorating his marble bathroom and renovating his used jet from Qatar.

[David Axelrod @davidaxelrod]

Kind of incredible that the House oversight committee is spending its time on Biden's auto pen but they won't touch how Trump has doubled his wealth in a year.
Or exactly who's buying his meme coins?
Or the deals his kids are cutting all over the world?
Or the gifted jet from Qatar?
Nothing to see there.

[Flavio Volpe, C.M. @FlavioVolpe1]

To be clear, a TV commercial is about to cost American consumers about $50B because he’s mad.

[Dirk David7 @DirkDavid7]

@BulwarkOnline Wow I can't believe he left out antifa the terrorist group, and its funders.

[Sunsun Girly @sunsungirly]

Trump’s own words in a 3rd graders voice🤣

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

LMAO this is great 😀

[Dirk David7 @DirkDavid7]

@ScottJenningsKY Now do Pete Hesgeth.

[Dirk David7 @DirkDavid7]

@Weinsteinlaw This moment is why he was picked.

[Dirk David7 @DirkDavid7]

@gtconway3d @realDonaldTrump Yeah but at least America's not losing money.