dirtsqrl

gypsy with a mortgage

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

No ‘Jasmine’, ur not a ‘life coach’ ur 26, u say affirmations, read ‘A’ book on mindfulness, shop at Whole Foods & post about body positivity in ur bikini.

Give me Margret, who’s 80, been through a war, Woodstock, 4 husbands, a housing crisis & starts her day with gin.

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

One of the greatest joys of social media is getting to watch the most unhealthy relationships ever in all their play by play, on again off again, unfollow - refollow, delete /repost, thirst trap etc chaotic glory from the comfort of my couch
🤍

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

@Wealthsimple #wealthsimplecrypto #contest

[Wealthsimple @Wealthsimple]

Want a chance to win 1 full bitcoin? Yeah, you do. Repost and reply with #WealthsimpleCrypto and #contest to be entered into our all-time highest giveaway.

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

@cryptobeastreal 🫶🏻

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

@as_per_danielle @Caroleeenalala @missykender hahah - fits

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

I recently decided to try doing extended (36hr) fasts once a week

& I must say I’m quite pleased with my ability

……..to find new inventive ways to remove joy

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

Putting a duvet cover on by yourself should be an Olympic Sport
😖

* I would not qualify

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

Seeking Arrangements:

But the arrangement is you have a pool I can use during heatwaves

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

I was in Home Depot not pretending but ACTUALLY confused

& ladies unlike the Tik Tok hype I didn’t have an attractive man offer to help me resulting in my ‘meet cute’ with a future hubby

Instead, a man tried to get me to sign up for a credit card…..

zero stars

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

I made the grave mistake of looking at ONE ad on social media for a shaping bodysuit a few weeks ago

& now I must live with the fact that the ONLY ads I will ever see again are for

…….. shaping bodysuits 😖

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

I’d choose both the man & the bear

hear me out

every guy thinks they can fight a bear.

here’s his chance

I sneak away unscathed, bear takes care of my problem.

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

@PickledGingerBC Happy Bday !!

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

@as_per_danielle @casualmomsense Happy Birthday lovely ! Hope it was a great one :)

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

@Jeremy_Baker @as_per_danielle in our defense we were in a tournament and not showing would have meant losing 🤷🏻‍♀️

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

The TV’s at the gym had golf on today, & I must say the closed captioning use of the word DADDY in place of CADDIE the entire time really improved the entertainment value 😂.

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

Anything you post today won’t show up in your memories for four years !

you’re welcome

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

This morning I got a sponsored ad for Fabutan on my phone - so now I’m worried I’ve somehow woken up in 1997 ….

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

Over the holidays I watched a grown man order a paralyzer (strange already)

………… AND THEN SQUEEZE A LIME INTO IT ??!!

I am still not ok.

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

A new yearly planner will not make 2024 your year

Sincerely,
the dusty 2023 planner with 11 entries

[dirtsqrl @dirtsqrl]

we talk a lot about the number of birds you get gifted in the 12 days of Christmas
(224 - the gold rings are pheasants 🤦🏻‍♀️)

but somehow we just gloss right over the fact you also get given 140 people
🫤