Dirty Quotes

Anything and Everything

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Hands are so overrated.. Cn you use your mouth please? #ThatsRight

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God, that sex I just had would have been even more amazing had there been someone else involved.

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Everything women try to get rid of, men sport with pride; facial hair, leg hair, guts, fart smells & small boobs! #ThatsRight

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If I were a sex symbol it would probably be the "Less Than" symbol..

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Overheard in the jewelry shop:
"I swallowed for this??" #truestory

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The only flaw in the girl I'm currently seeing, is that she makes a lot of noise in the bedroom... I guess she doesn't like when I peep through her window.

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I was just sexually harassed. Screw a lawsuit. I haven't been this flattered in a while...

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My girlfriend's idea of oral sex is to sit down and talk me out of it.

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The tampon aisle is a terrible place to pick up chicks. #ThatsRight #ThoughtOfTheDay

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Giving a man 'the silent treatment' is like giving a girl a spanking. It's meant to be punishment, but it really, really isn't.

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Him: You wanna have sex tonight?

Her: I'm not in the mood babe.

Him: Hold on a second. I'm on the phone. #lol #rofl #lmao

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Her: May I help you?
Him: Just checking out these scratch & sniff stickers.
Her: Sir, this is the lingerie dept. Those are price tags. #lol

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Him: Do you wanna have the best sex of your life tonight?
Her: No.
Him: Then I'm your guy! #thatsright

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Hold tits, not grudges..! #thatsright #advice

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#thatsright #tinder #lol #rofl #lmao

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Hey girl, are you a bowling ball? Because I wanna stick my fingers in you and act like I know what I'm doing.

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I don't keep condoms in my wallet anymore, in hopes that my money will have unprotected sex and multiply. #TrueStory

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According to my new fitness smart watch, i've masturbated 5 miles. #ThatsRight

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I sometimes crunch up my jizz when it dries. I take the white powder to parties and watch people snort up my cock sand.
I do this a lot.

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Ladies, if you're not sure how long you'll be with him, be safe, have anal sex.